


Feels Like It's Getting Stronger

by Larynx_Blues



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Cheating, Child Abuse, Drama & Romance, Fake Prostitution, Gang Violence, Homophobia, Homosexuality, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Nct dream are runaways, No Smut, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2020-07-28 01:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20055601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larynx_Blues/pseuds/Larynx_Blues
Summary: “We’re not street rats, we’re a family.”"So, Fuck off, is essentially what we're saying,"In which the Dreamies are teens trying to make ends meet when they get spotted by one of the strongest gangs in the country.NCT.





	1. Thrilling  race, As  you can see we are twisted

It started on a dark night. Jaemin led his “customer” on the guise of a good time. Jaemin dressed head to toe in one of his higher end outfits. The large fur jacket which protected him from the cold and gold chains on his neck gave him an expensive look. He even wore his leather pants, they stuck to him in the “right ways” or that's what he was told by perverts. It was easy to lure closeted or disturbed men anywhere with looks like his. He was a pied piper for the degenerates of society. Although, he knew he was one of them as well. 

“Hurry, I’m cold,” He whined, The man behind him increased his stride. 

Jaemin led him down the alleyway, almost smirking. When they reached a dead end, Jaemin turned around with a smile. 

“Well, let’s get started,” Jaemin said and the man moved to take off his shirt. 

“Ah ah ah, that's not necessary,” Jaemin shook his pointer finger, “Where’s the money?”

“How mu-” The man started before Jaemin scoffed. 

“Not that money,” Jaemin interrupted, “It seems you haven't paid Jeno the money you owe him,”

The man stiffened. 

“So… How about we get that money, huh? You think cause we’re teens you can take advantage of us?” Jaemin continued. 

“You’re going to threaten me, you slut!” The man spat, “We’re alone here, I’m gonna get what I want,”

The man walked closer to Jaemin before a voice stopped him dead in his tracks. 

“You should stop while you’re ahead,” The man turned and saw Jeno.

The teen held a bat over his shoulder, glaring at the man. 

Behind him, there stood three others. Two of them held bats, one of them held a golf club. They all stared at the man. Their eyes were the only thing on their face that was visible. They all wore black masks that covered the lower part of their face. The man clenched his fists and attempted to move. 

“We’ll give you one more chance, give us the money and we’ll let you go,” Jeno said, the man gritted his teeth.

“Like hell I will,” The man moved to grab Jaemin when something collided against his shoulder. 

The man fell to the floor and noticed a teen that wasn't there before. The teen held a bat, looking down at him. 

“Good job Jisung, hiding in the trash was a great idea,” A voice piped up. 

“Thanks, Renjun hyung!” The teen above him said. 

Soon all the teens gathered around the man. The man tried to stand but fell down when a club collided with his shoulder. 

“Where’s the money?” Jaemin said, the man felt his wallet taken from his pocket. 

“Oh, there’s more than enough here, Jeno hyung,” A voice said.

“You can't take that! I need to pay N-” The man said before a bat hit his shoulder. 

“You needed to pay US first!” Jeno said, “You made it clear that you weren’t going to pay, so we took action,” 

Jeno squatted down and grabbed the man by his hair, “We don't give a shit about who you need to pay, if anything, maybe another beating by them would teach you a lesson,” 

Jeno let go of his hair, stood up, and tossed the wallet on the man after they took the money from it. Jeno gestured for the others to follow. 

“Don’t come for us unless you want more,” Jeno warned, they started to walk away. 

The man saw an opportunity and grabbed one of the boys. The others turned around and stepped forward before the man spoke. 

“Step any closer and I’ll…” 

“What? You have no weapon,” A boy with brown hair said. 

“Stop playing around and stab him Chenle,” Another ordered.

The man grew confused. In the corner of his eye, he saw the red haired teen he held swiftly moving his arm. All of a sudden he felt a sharp pain in his leg. The teen in his arms pulled away as he fell to the floor.

“Well... we were going to let you go,” Jeno said, “But now we need to teach you a lesson,” 

“Renjun, open the bag.” The brown haired boy took off a small duffle bag, dropping it to the floor, and opened it. 

“Let it begin,” Jeno said, the man shook as knives and various tools were pulled from the bag. 

“You should have learned not to mess with one of us,” A tall boy said, his arm tossed around the red-haired boy’s shoulder.

“I wonder, have you ever felt your nails being pulled out one by one?” Jaemin asked, a pair of pliers in his hand. 

The man froze in fear, he tried to run but a bat connected to his head. 

Everything afterwards was a bloody blur. 

“This just in! A man found murdered in an alleyway. The suspects are unk-” The television turned off. 

“Do you think this was an attack against us? It’s pretty well known that he owed us,” Johnny spoke. 

“I doubt it, but this means there’s another gang on our territory,” Taeyong said, “Did you get the surveillance video?” 

“No, the cameras were turned off and there were none in the alley, whoever did this has experience,” Johnny explained. 

“We need to keep an eye out then,” Taeyong sighed, “These guys are dangerous, especially since their doing this on our territory."

The group of teens laughed as they sat in the middle of the ice cream shop.

“Thanks for treating us hyung!” Chenle gulped down his ice cream. 

“Chenle! Slow down,” Renjun said while Haechan laughed. 

“Let him enjoy it,” Haechan said, “We haven’t had ice cream in forever,”

“Ow,” Chenle whined, “Brainfreeze... “ 

Everyone laughed as Renjun said, “I told you so,” 

These boys weren’t men. 

Not yet at least.


	2. The problem is I'm not a flame that's easy to tame

Jaemin walked down the street with Haechan. The two were bringing groceries home when they noticed a group of men walking down the street. They all wore expensive suits and clothing, sticking out like a sore thumb in the lower class city. People like that weren't a common sight at all. Jaemin felt something wrong in his gut and looked over to Haechan. He seemingly stared at one of them in particular. 

“Jaemin!” Haechan said, “That’s Mark,” He pointed at a black haired boy. 

“Didn't you say he was part of NCT?” Haechan nodded. 

“That’s what Jeno heard, there was a lot of buzz around in the underground scene when he joined,” Haechan shook his head, “Let’s go,” 

Jaemin and Haechan moved to walk away when the boys began to stare at them. Mark seemed to be the one staring the most. Luckily, Jaemin and Haechan had masks on like always. They couldn't afford to show their faces around, they were “missing”. They were lucky the area they lived in had poor air quality and some fine dust here and there. It wasn't suspicious. 

Jaemin jumped when Haechan grasped his hand. He looked up and saw the gang crossing the street. Jaemin pulled Haechan with him and they hurried to head to their apartment. Haechan held Jaemin’s hand tightly.

Haechan couldn't bear to see Mark’s face.

Especially not after he had disappeared from the other’s life. 

“Hey! You two,” A voice called, Jaemin stopped. 

If they kept running, it would be suspicious. 

It could even be dangerous if they angered them.

They weren't normal people, they were NCT.

“What?” Jaemin pulled Haechan behind him.

Mark stepped forward, “Your friend… What’s his name?” He pointed at Haechan. 

“Yoosung,” Jaemin lied, Haechan stayed behind him. 

“Can I ta-”

“He’s mute,” Jaemin interrupted, “We have to get home,” 

“Can’t he just take off his mask?” Another man asked, he had pink hair. 

“No, he can’t.” Jaemin bowed, “We need to go, I’m sorry,” 

Jaemin pulled Haechan with him. The bags of groceries rustled as the boys made their escape. Haechan glanced back and noticed how Mark looked. Mark stared at him and looked like he wanted to call out to him, to see if it really was him. But, Haechan knew that he wasn't the same person Mark fell in love with. Haechan also knew Mark wasn't the same person he fell for either. He joined NCT. A cruel and violent gang that ruled a lot of Korea under the cover of night. Supposedly they were involved in a lot of things behind the scenes. 

What had happened to the cute and nerdy Mark he knew? What had happened to the both of them?

Haechan looked away and focused on going home.

He had boys to take care of. 

He had no time for love or reopening old wounds. 

When they made it to their apartment, they put their bags in the kitchen. The living room and kitchen weren’t separated. It was like one room instead. They didn't have a bedroom either. The only other room they had was a bathroom, the only closed off room in the house. They stuffed their three small mattresses in the closet when they woke up and took them out when they went to bed. While their studio apartment was small, roach-filled, and not in the best condition, it was both cheap and their home. 

Since they were underage, A man named Sicheng put the apartment in his name. However, the boys paid for it since they all worked.

He wasn't a random stranger. Renjun knew him, and slowly Winwin became someone they could rely on. He was the only person outside of the teens who knew their stories. He had never ratted them out to the police either.

Since none of the teens went to school, working was their priority. 

Chenle and Jisung would help out at the bakery owned by Sicheng, who also went by the name Winwin. 

Jaemin worked at a library part time that was managed by a man named Xiaojun, while Jeno worked as a mechanic. It was owned by Winwin’s friend, Lucas. He was a chipper guy who didn't ask questions when Winwin asked him to hire Jeno. He helped Jeno understand a lot of things about cars. At one point, Jeno was almost scared he would be fired for not knowing anything, but all Lucas did was smile, joke, and patiently teach him. Jeno could honestly call him a friend. Jeno worked hard not only to repay Lucas but to help his boys. Although, he did have some shady things on the side and Jaemin had a hand in them. 

Renjun was intelligent so it wasn’t surprising that he worked at a small electronic store. At his job, Renjun helped people with computer or technology troubleshooting. Yet, He also used his abilities to hack when he needed to. He was incredibly skilled, hacking into cameras when his boys needed to do something… not so legal. He worked with a boy named Yangyang; They became friends after a few weeks.

Haechan worked at a small clothing store owned by a man named Ten. The man loved fashion and would go on about trends that Haechan grew interested in over time. Sometimes, Ten would make Haechan try on clothes that he had made himself. Those outfits weren’t sold in the store, it was just Ten’s hobby. Regardless, Haechan loved trying on each article of clothing. 

He also pretended to be mute in his daily life. Talking to people outside of his boys made him anxious, it was better for him if he didn't speak at all. However, Haechan pretended it had no connection to what happened to him. He would communicate with pen, paper, and sign language. He had learned proper sign language and while it did make his lie more convincing... 

It was also a great way to communicate to his members secretly.

They all worked hard for a better future together. It was all they wanted, but there were so many risks. Jeno, Renjun, Jaemin, and Haechan were legally adults so they couldn't be forced back with their parents so easily. However, Chenle and Jisung were still minors and they had to stay low. They could easily be taken back to their “families” if they discovered where they were. They were hundreds of miles away from their previous homes but they couldn't risk anything. They all wore masks, and never showed anyone their faces outside of work. Jeno and Haechan never took their masks during their jobs, while Renjun and Jaemin had to take their masks off during work. Luckily, Chenle and Jisung worked in the back of the bakery, rarely coming to the front, so they didn't have to take off their masks either. 

Jeno cleaned the tools Lucas had used when he saw an expensive car roll up to the building. It was odd, there was typically no cars like that in the area. He froze when he saw who stepped out. Taeyong. The leader of NCT…

There were a few others with him but he mainly focused on the leader. What was he doing here? Jeno wiped off his hands on his tank top, putting black smudges on it. He looked over to Lucas who seemed act casually about the gang leader standing in the front of his garage . He watched as the older walked over to the gang and seemed to talk with them as if they were regular people. This raised alarm bells for Jeno. He ignored NCT for a few minutes, simply focusing on his task when he was called over.

“Jeno come here!” Lucas called and Jeno sighed. 

The boy dropped the wrench he was cleaning and walked over, standing beside Lucas with his arms crossed. Taeyong and the others look at him up and down before speaking. 

“Hm… Seems young,” A pink haired man said. 

“Hey, you want some extra work?” Jeno shook his head. 

“I can’t do anything else, I’m busy,” Jeno said, Taeyong looked stoic, but his eyes held something that Jeno noticed and didn't like. 

“Hm... “ Taeyong hummed, “What could a teenager like you have to do?” 

“Gotta family to take care of,” Jeno said curtly, walking away. 

He ignored the stares he got, he wasn't going to respect people who ruined people’s lives so easily. 

He sat at the same spot, polishing the tools again but this time listening to the conversation. 

“He’s a great worker!” Lucas stated, “But… I don't think he can or will do what you want him to,” 

“Damn right,” Jeno thought. 

“Why’s th-” A brown haired boy asked before two boys ran up to Jeno. 

“Hyung, Winwin let us have some leftovers!” Jisung yelled, holding a bag of muffins out. 

Jeno smiled under his mask before taking a muffin from the bag. 

“Hyung! Take another,” Chenle said and Jeno shook his head. 

“I’m good, didn't you hear that Jaemin is making dinner today?” 

“Really?” Chenle said, “Well, We’re going home then!”

“Hey, before you go, have you seen anyone around that looks like this?” The black haired boy asked, holding a picture out of Haechan. 

The three boys shook their heads. 

“Mark, just let it go, Haechan’s not here either,” A red haired man said, the boys look at each other. 

Jeno suddenly understood that this was the Mark that Haechan had told him about. He wanted to say so much to him but stayed silent. The boys beside him also kept their lips sealed tight. 

“Well… We’re going home hyung!” Chenle said, holding Jisung’s hand. 

“Bye, lovebirds,” Jeno laughed as their faces turn red. 

Chenle tugged Jisung with him, sliding past NCT. Jisung ignored the stares he got from NCT. It made him anxious but he calmed himself with a mantra of “I’m okay”. However, Chenle and Jisung stopped walking when Lucas spoke. 

“You can go home Jeno,” Lucas said, “I have to close early,” 

Jeno nodded, “Okay, I’ve just finished cleaning the tools,” 

Jeno grabbed his jacket and backpack, tossing them on. He held the muffin in his hand as he hurried to walk beside Chenle and Jisung. He made sure to step between them and NCT. 

“Bye Lucas,” Jeno said. Lucas waved at him. 

A hand landed on Jeno’s shoulder, he looked up to see a black haired man. 

“If you change your mind, contact us, my name’s Doyoung.” He held out a business card for Jeno to take. 

Jeno shrugged off Doyoung’s hand, “No thanks,”

He walked past NCT, Chenle and Jisung hurrying after him, with no presentable fear. 

He stood up straight and focused ahead. 

Jeno wouldn’t let them see the slight anxiousness in his chest. 

They didn't deserve that satisfaction.

“What do you even know about him?” Jaehyun asked, Lucas shrugged.

“He’s a good kid, plus Winwin made me hire him.” Yuta perked up at the mention of Sicheng.

“Well keep an eye on him, did you see the news?” Doyoung asked, Lucas nodded.

“Yeah, but I know Jeno, he wouldn’t do something like that,” Lucas said, “I’ll keep an eye out, but don't get too hopeful he had a hand in it,”

“Fine,” Taeyong said, “But we’ll be hanging around the next few days, maybe even a week or two. We can’t have any more kills on our turf,” 

“Fine, I’ll ask the rest of Vision to look out,” Lucas grumbled, “Now let’s get some dinner, I’m hungry,”

“You’re still the same, huh?” Doyoung pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Yep,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter that I finished is better, this was just a basis to explain a lot of the world around them and what they do since you know, they're runaways. It was basically mostly information but the beginning and the last part in the auto shop till the end is what was the most important stuff for the actual story. I still hope you enjoyed it though. :P


	3. I  don't have time to play sitting next to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are escalating....

Jeno walked into the apartment with the maknaes by his side. He turned to the left and saw Haechan and Jaemin cooking a simple pasta. He smiled, moving to hug Jaemin from behind and snuggle into his neck. 

“Ew,” Haechan said, stirring the sauce into the pasta. 

Jaemin stuck out his tongue, “Don't be so jealous Haechannie,” 

“Yeah right,” Haechan stuck out his tongue back. 

“Is Renjun home yet?” Jeno asked, Jaemin shook his head. 

“Nope, Texted me saying he had a longer shift,” Jaemin said. 

They all brought cheap flip phones and Winwin helped them out with these bills as well. They would give him money each month and he would pay the bill with his credit card. It only cost them twenty dollars a month for each phone. Everyone had an individual flip phone that they could pay for on their own. 

“Oh…” Jeno said, Jaemin sighed.

“Don’t get worried.” Jaemin kissed Jeno’s cheek before focusing back on cooking.

“Fine,” Jeno said, “I’m still going to message him,” 

Jeno moved away and pulled his phone out. 

“Text us when you coming home” He messaged Renjun. 

“You worry too much,” Jaemin said with a smile, “Ren-” 

The flip phone rang, Jeno hurried to open it. 

“Hey, I’m coming home now,” Renjun said, walking down a sidewalk. 

“Good, Call us if anything happens,” Jeno said and Renjun laughed. 

“I’ll be fine, I’m almost there,” 

They shortly hung up the call and Renjun continued his walk home. It was currently 9:30pm and incredibly dark. Luckily, He didn't live too far from his job, he would make it back home in ten minutes flat. As he walked, he noticed the sound of footsteps behind him. He thought he had been paranoid at first, but the sound persisted. He kept a calm composure and quickened his pace. Renjun heard the steps behind him increase in tempo as well. His fists clenched as he worked the courage to turn around, to face the person behind him. He counted to three in his head, before he turned around. 

He noticed a figure behind him and squinted. He realized the person in the distance continued to walk forward. At that point, Renjun felt a twist in the pit of his stomach. Renjun spun back around and dashed down the street. He couldn't hear if the person was still behind him, and he didn't care. He focused forward, until he twisted his ankle. He crashed down to the floor, skidding his arms across the rough concrete of the sidewalk. Renjun attempted to push himself up and grabbed his phone from his pocket, calling Jeno on speed dial.

“Hello? Re-” 

“Jeno, I think there was so-” Renjun looked up and noticed the figure was only two feet away. He stared down at Renjun, reaching into his pocket. 

“Renjun? Renjun!” He couldn’t hear the slamming of a door through the phone, he couldn’t hear the heavy footsteps running at a fast pace through the phone, his eyes only stayed locked on the man in front of him. 

The man took out a knife and said, “Give me your backpack,”

All Renjun could do was shake his head and try to crawl away. 

“Like hell he will,” A voice said, Renjun moved his focus to Yangyang. 

Yangyang stood behind the mugger and suddenly charged forward. 

Renjun’s mouth went agape when Yangyang tackled the man to the ground, punching him across the face and managing to toss the knife away. In a few minutes, Renjun heard footsteps behind him and arms surrounded him. Renjun looked up to see Jaemin hugging him while Jeno charged forward with his bat. The mugger managed to flip Yangyang below him, but in an incredible speed, Jeno ran up and struck the man in the head with his bat. 

The man flew back and Jeno pulled Yangyang up. They stepped back and they stared at the man. 

“Get Renjun out of here, I called the police when I saw the man following him,” Yangyang stated, Jeno turned to the petrified Renjun before nodding at Yangyang. 

“Thank you,” Jeno rushed over to Renjun, tossing the boy on his back. 

Jaemin yelled a “thank you” before following Jeno and Renjun. Yangyang looked down and grabbed the knife on the floor. 

“You’re going to regret this,” Yangyang scoffed and squatted down, bringing the knife to man’s face. 

The mugger was still disoriented from Jeno's hit to hit head.

“Yo Yangyang, Chill! We can’t kill him here,” Lucas said, Yangyang tossed the knife behind him and stood up. 

“Fine, Where’s everyone?” Yangyang asked, before new voices interrupted Lucas’ response.

“Here,” Kun said, behind him the rest of WayV stood. 

“Well, let’s get rid of this piece of trash,” Yangyang said and Kun raised a brow.

“Since when have you been this cruel, is it about this Renjun kid?” 

“Kind of, reminds me of…” Yangyang trailed off and the other’s understood. 

“Fine, let’s hurry up then,” Hendery said, picking the knife up from the ground. 

Renjun felt himself placed on one of their mattresses on the floor. 

He could hear everyone running around him, but he grew too tired to care.

“Renjun, are you okay?” Chenle asked and Renjun smiled.

“Yeah Lele, I’m fine, I’m just tired.” Renjun tried to sit up but Haechan forced him back down. 

“Hae… I didn't get hurt that much,” Renjun whined but Haechan tsked and walked away. 

“Ren, I need to treat your injuries, Jaemin said and Renjun sat up. 

Renjun stayed silent as Jaemin put disinfectant on the scrapes on his arms, wrapping them in bandages. Jaemin moved Renjun’s leg and the other hissed. He looked at Renjun’s left ankle and moved it, causing Renjun to hissed harder. 

“I think I sprained my ankle,” Renjun said and Jaemin sighed. 

Jaemin grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer and placed them on Renjun’s ankle. He grabbed a pillow and placed Renjun’s ankle on top of it. Renjun smiled when Jaemin sat next to him and cuddle into his arm. Soon after, Jeno sat on the other side of Renjun and wrapped his arm around Renjun’s shoulders. 

“We were so worried when you called us.” Jaemin grabbed Renjun’s hand tightly.

“Jeno’s face had an expression we don’t see too often,” Haechan said as he passed by and laid in the mattress two feet behind norenmin, Jeno’s face grew red. 

Renjun kissed both Jeno and Jaemin’s cheeks. 

“I’m sorry,” Renjun squeezed Jaemin’s hand back, “I can torture people, maybe even kill them, but no matter how much I try to ignore my fear, it comes back, I’m pat-”

“Renjun stop!” Jeno turned the boy’s face towards him,”You don't need to apologize for being scared of something,” Jeno kissed Renjun on the mouth, making Haechan pretend to gag behind them. 

“You all are way too soft with each other,” Haechan said, even though Chenle and Jisung laid over him as all three of them cuddled. 

Renjun laughed and the room’s atmosphere grew lighter. 

“Hey Lucas, you know that Jeno kid right?” Yangyang washed his hands in the sink, while Lucas cleaned the tools they used.

“Yeah, he works with me in the auto shop, why?” Lucas placed the knife down and moved on to his saw.

“He might be a part of that rumored gang, the dreamies right?”

“Why do you think that?” Lucas turned and finally made eye contact with Yangyang. 

“Cause he didn't hesitate to attack that man with a bat,” Yangyang explained, “He had a look in his eyes that made me think there’s more to him than we think,”

“I’ll keep an eye out, if he’s a part of the dreamies, I’ll find out,” Hendery said, sitting on the counter near the sink. 

“There’s a rumor that a boy called “Ace” is part of the dreamies, he participates in underground gambling,” Hendery continued.

“I’ll check it out then,” Ten said, “Kun said he’ll check it out with me,” 

“We can’t have this gang on NCT territory,” Xiaojun said, “We need to get rid of them as soon as possible,” 

The room's atmosphere grew heavier, while Winwin and Lucas shared knowing looks. 

They couldn't protect these boys forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to go wild after this, get ready! :D 
> 
> (Sorry im an evil author)


	4. The thrill of every second, danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Storm Finally Formed.

The day arrived and Jeno left despite Renjun’s attempts to stop him, the others had stopped trying to convince him as he was too stubborn. In Jeno’s mind, this wasn't a question of “should I?”. It wasn't even optional to him. He needed this money to support his family, the only people he loved. He would gamble for hours and hours just to dump his earnings on the table and watch as the light in their eyes appears. Whenever he gambled, they didn't have to worry about getting enough money to pay rent or bills. They could go to an arcade, a noraebang, watch a movie in a theater, and they could pretend life was well. They could act their age. 

He felt his age around them. 

He wasn't the son of the devil like those people believed he was. 

He was Jeno, not his father. 

And he was theirs… 

Jeno loved them more than he loved himself, That’s why he gambled. 

“Tell us what you know about these “dreamies”,” Taeyong asked and the man shrugged. 

“We don't know much, just that if you mess with Ace, the dreamies make you go night night if you know what I mean,” The man explained, “That’s why we call them the dreamies, they’ll knock your light outs or kill you if you fight with Ace,” 

“When did these dreamies show up?” 

“A year ago? Maybe longer? All I know is it really started when Ace joined the underground gambling scene, but there were a few murders before that.” The man eyed the money in Taeyong’s hand. “But we can’t connect them to those, so…” 

Taeyong sighed, “Before we give you this, when does he gamble?” Taeyong asked and the man smirked.

“He always does it the same day, actually today is that day,”

Taeyong and the others looked at each other,

They knew what they needed to do. 

Jeno tossed on a mask, a black hat, and a hoodie. He always went in comfortable clothing in case he needed to run, but he made sure he was covered from head to toe. No one could find out who he was, it would put them all in danger if he could be recognized. 

“You’re going to be just like him,” They would say but Jeno can now scoff at those people.

He wasn't like his father, 

He had love and gave it back without pain or selfishness. 

He knew who he was, and it was thanks to his family. 

Taeyong ordered Ten and Kun to keep an eye out around the building. They needed to stop these dreamies from getting too powerful, NCT had to defend both their honor and territory. They didn't know what to do when they finally caught them, whether to kill them or recruit them, but they could get to that later. Taeyong needed to know who these men were and what they wanted. 

“Hyung! Do you really have to go today?” 

“I’m sorry Sungie, but this is for us, for our dream,” 

“I know…” 

Jeno tossed his backpack on and waved to them all before he left.

They all had heavy hearts when Jeno left the safety of their rundown apartment. They didn't want him to leave, they never wanted to leave this apartment. 

But that’s not how life works. 

Taeyong waited as Wayv took surveillance of the building. It was abandoned but the gambling area was held in the basement.

It was where the action took place. 

Taeyong watched from another building, looking from the second story of Ten’s clothing store. The store was a few blocks away from the building, making it the perfect hideout. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, Taeyong grabbed his phone and answered it.

“He’s coming, he matches the description that guy gave to us,” Kun said and Taeyong hummed. 

“Don’t do anything yet, Let him have fun gambling,” 

Jeno never liked gambling but he had adept talent in it. He doesn't know if he’s lucky or if those days of figuring out if his father would hit him or not helped him read body language. He walked down the street, building up his false confidence like how used to. It helped him when the whole world seemed to call him by his father’s name, rather than his own. He was the devil's child, but here?

He was Ace. 

He was Jeno. 

That title had no bearing to the ones he had now. 

“He’s entering the building,” Kun said. 

“Now we wait,” Yuta said, Taeyong nodded. 

“We’ll get them by today,” 

Winwin wanted to die in that moment, he stood up and left the room. 

He couldn't bear this. 

Yuta stared at Winwin leaving in disbelief, "What happened to him?" he thought.

Winwin wanted to call the boys, to tell them to run. 

He wanted to go against NCT, even against WayV.

He gritted his teeth until a hand grabbed his. 

“You feel like shit too?” Lucas asked and Winwin let a few tears flow before he rubbed them away with the back of his hand. 

“Yeah, I do,”

Winwin told him a lot about the boys. 

Lucas didn't want this to happen either.

The “dreamies” sat in wait, cuddling together. On nights like these, they huddled together and waited for him to come back. It was Saturday and they didn't have to work. 

Renjun and Jaemin fought to have this day off with the rest of them. Eventually, their pleads worked and they moved their off day to Saturday permanently. It was a small victory for them, especially when it came to a day like today. 

They needed each other. 

“You think Jeno will be fine?” Chenle asked and Renjun cuddled into him harder. 

“Lele, I’m sure he will be,”

They laid there in silence for a few more minutes. 

“I wish I went with him,” Jaemin piped up and Haechan sighed.

“I don't think he would let anyone of us even if we kept bothering him,” Haechan said. 

Everyone hummed in agreement. 

Jeno focused, his eyes moving around the table. He focused on every individual person, paying attention to the slightest of habits or ticks each player had. He would recognize it all, that’s something he had to learn when he dealt with his father. When he was drunk, when he was angry, when he would strike him… 

Perhaps that's why he had good reflexes, he always had to dodge his father’s fists. 

Jeno placed his card down after biding his time. 

The game was over. 

Jeno grabbed five thousand dollars in cash and tossed it in his backpack, moving to leave. 

“Good job Ace,” The usual compliments. 

“Good thing he only comes once a month,” He overheard.

He nearly laughed at that comment.

“Hey Ace, there might be a hawk out there, be careful,” R.M said and Jeno nodded. 

Almost everyone had a code name here. R.M was the man who set this whole underground gambling business up and he took a shining to Jeno. After all, he won all the games he showed up to. He warned Jeno if there were cops, calling them “hawks”. 

“Thanks R.M,” Jeno waved off as he left, he couldn't wait to show everyone how much he got. 

They always saved half of it so they could move out and head out someplace better. 

Jeno’s gambling only helped that dream come faster. 

As Jeno walked home, He felt something weighing down his victory. Like there was something forming, like a storm. Jeno tried to leave that feeling but it persisted, bubbling up in his stomach. Maybe it was because he thought of his father too much today?

Maybe he was being paranoid? He felt as if eyes kept following him. 

When he made it to the apartment and opened the door, a sea of love pelted him. They all surrounded him and he smiled genuinely. 

His eyes closed, forming his signature eye smile. 

They all entered and Jeno dumped some of the money on the table. 

“How much did you win?” Renjun exclaimed, grabbing some of the cash. 

“Five thousand,” Everyone in the room screamed, Chenle coming out higher and louder than the rest. 

“We have so much money saved, we might be able to get out of here soon!” Jaemin hugged Jeno tightly, tears almost seeping out of his eyes. 

Yet, it shattered when Jisung heard a wiggle of the door knob. When he snapped his head to face the sound, the door opened. 

Taeyong of NCT stood in their entryway, entering without a care. The rest of NCT entered the tiny apartment, staring at the now shaken boys.

“You’re the dreamies?” Taeyong said in disbelief, “You’re kids…”

“Does it even matter? Let’s just take them,” Someone said but the boys stayed frozen until Jeno moved.

Jeno stood in front of them all, his chest out in confidence. He wouldn’t let anything his boys, no, he couldn't let anything happen to his boys. 

“No, you can just take me, but you can’t take them,” Jeno growled, making Taeyong raised a brow. 

“Are you sure these are the right people?” Taeyong asked, “This is Ace… but these are teenagers? What could they do?”

“They look like they’re around my age,” Mark said, “So I wouldn’t doubt them too much,” 

As Haechan and Jaemin held each other, Mark recognized them from earlier.

“Hey, you're those two guys that ran from us,” Mark said, Taeyong raised a brow again but Jaehyun just murmured “Later”. 

“Aren't those two kids over there from Lucas’ shop, I don't know the brown haired one though,” Yuta said, making Renjun and the two youngest shrivel up. 

“Leave them out of it,” Jeno stated firmly. 

“Sorry, We can’t,” A blonde said and in a sudden rush, chaos ensued. 

Haechan tried to push Jeno away from NCT when he was grabbed and a cloth replaced the mask covering his mouth. 

Jeno attempted to fight them away from Haechan, but even he got taken down with a rag to his mouth. 

Jaemin was the next to be subdued, while Renjun started to hyperventilate.

He gripped at his chest and the black haired man backed away. 

“Yo, are yo-” Renjun screamed for Chenle and Jisung to run. 

They did, pushing through the men unexpectedly. 

“Just put the cloth on his mouth already!”

They turned and saw Renjun with a cloth to his mouth with thick tears leaking from his eyes. Chenle tightly grabbed Jisung’s hand and they ran down the stairs. Adrenaline pumped through their veins as they bust through the door to their apartment complex. 

They ran to Winwin’s bakery for sanctuary when they noticed him in a car with Lucas. 

They were about to leave when Chenle and Jisung appeared, waving their arms rapidly. 

“Gege! Help us!” Chenle screamed, they jumped into the car when Lucas unlocked it. 

“What happened?” Lucas asked, fake obliviousness coming through his voice as he started the car.

Lucas started driving.

“These men attacked Renjun, Jeno, and Ja-” Chenle stopped when he realized the direction they were going. 

“W-where are we going? Gege? What’s happening?” Winwin held back tears. 

“I’m sorry,” 

Chenle and Jisung tried to open the doors but Lucas locked them in. The boys pounded on the doors and screamed, while Lucas pulled up to the apartment building.

NCT stood out in the front with the members of WayV beside them as well.

“Why? We trusted you!” Jisung screamed, banging on the door to the car. “We should have never trusted you! I hate you!” 

Winwin watched as Johnny and Jaehyun placed cloth on boys mouths. He watched as they were dragged out of the car, tied up, and tossed inside a van. He watched as all of NCT and WayV celebrated their victory, while he sat paralyzed in the car with Lucas. 

"Good job letting them inside your car," Taeyong said, "It was a good plan," Winwin felt nauseous. 

He watched NCT and WayV left and soon the van followed them. 

He left the car.

He threw up on the sidewalk, with tears beating down on his face. 

He walked up to the boy’s apartment and cleaned up the mess inside with Lucas.. 

He put the money away, and made sure to lock the door so no one would take anything while the boys were gone. 

He sat back in the car with Lucas, feeling hollow. 

“We need to hurry over there, we can’t let them hurt them,” Winwin whispered, Lucas revved the engine and broke traffic laws to catch up to the rest of them. 

This was NCT territory. No one would help these boys especially if NCT themselves were involved.

They were the only people that could help them. They couldn't let this happen. 

Not to these boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a mean author, I hope you enjoy my work and I have a lot of things planned *evil laugh*


	5. You were the chain that tied me up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captured...

There once was a child that walked home alone. His parents had forgotten to pick him up that day. It was fine though, He knew the way home. They knew he did. The boy walked down the street, wearing the logo of his school on his blazer. That school was one of the most expensive ones around, only the richest children and teens could attend. He hurried to get home but the boy heard a noise behind him and when he turned: th-

Renjun snapped open his eyes. He blinked to ease the blurriness in his vision, but as it cleared up, he realized he wasn’t home. He wasn’t home. The sea of memories rushed into his mind and his heart raced once again. He struggled to sit up, as his hands were tied behind his back. When he finally managed to sit up on his knees, he took a look around the room. It was an empty, grey room. The only thing he could spot was a door, and he knew it would be locked.

He was alone. 

Renjun wanted to cry and so he did. He let out the burning tears held behind his eyelids, letting them scald his cheeks. He didn't know if the others were alive, or if he was the last one to go without any of them around. All he knew was that he was trapped in a room again, and that his lungs felt as if they were tied up with him. Renjun tried to stand but he fell back down from the pain in his ankle. It must have gotten hurt again from the fight in the apartment. 

Did Chenle and Jisung even escape? He hoped they did. 

His head snapped up when the door opened, and his eyes widened. 

“Yangyang?” Renjun whispered, disbelief and fear trailing up and down his spine in the form of a shudder. 

All Renjun could do was sputter out unintelligible words and attempt to get away from his “coworker”. He panicked when Yangyang simply picked him up by his arm and shoved him out the room. Renjun tried to control his breathing but his mind went blank. He rushed his breathes in and out as he was taken to a new area. He couldn't even focus on where he was, he was just panicking. 

He cried as Yangyang opened a door to another room, begging for him to let them go. It fell on deaf ears as Yangyang shoved him in the room; Renjun fell to knees due to the pain in his ankle. He winced from the pain. He heard a “sorry” and the door to the room closing behind him. Renjun looked up and saw the leader of NCT and another man beside him. His focus swapped between the two men. They sat on a red couch with a dark, wooden coffee table in front of them. On the table, laid a simple handgun that terrified him. 

“You must be Renjun?” Taeyong said and Renjun stayed silent. 

“How old are you?” Silence.

“Bring in another one Kun,” The male beside Taeyong stood up and left the room. 

Moments later, Renjun heard a familiar voice outside the door and turned his head. When the door opened, “Kun” brought in Jaemin who attempted to resist the other. When he noticed Renjun, he pulled out of the man’s hands and hurried over to him.

Jaemin’s hands were tied as well but he still pushed his body into Renjun, placing his head in the boy’s neck. Renjun relished in the attention, he felt his breathing steady as Jaemin whispered sweet nothings into his ears. He was still crying but Jaemin’s voice slowly eased those tears away as well. 

“Boyfriends? That’s cute,” Kun said, sitting beside Taeyong again. 

Jaemin glared at them, “Where’s everyone else?” Renjun asked. 

Before Jaemin could answer, he was interrupted by Kun.

“Dead,” Renjun’s breathing went quicker and his panic stirred up again. 

“I’m kidding, They’re fine,” Kun said, but Renjun didn't stop panicking. 

Jaemin growled, “You asshole! You sent him into a panic attack!”

Jaemin whispered reassurances once again but Renjun just shook his head. The only thing that could thing in his mind was the word “dead”. He didn't want to be alone, he didn't want the only people he loved to be dead. 

"They were with me in another room," Jaemin said but Renjun didn't listen. 

“Untie me! Or bring the others into the room, he’s going to pass out!” Jaemin begged and Taeyong rolled his eyes, grabbing his phone. Jaemin didn't pay attention to the call and focused on reassuring Renjun.

“I’m here with you, breathe with me, please,” He pleaded, kissing Renjun’s tear stained cheeks. 

“I don't wanna die!” Renjun cried, “I don't want you to die!” 

“We’re not going to die, I promise Junnie,” Jaemin said, the door opened and the rest of the boys were pushed in while the rest of NCT and a few others joined them. The boys huddled together and Renjun sobbed in relief when he saw them. They were alive. 

“Junnie,” Jeno said, pecking the boy on the cheek. 

“Jeno, I-” Jeno shushed him and kissed him on the lips, then kissing Jaemin’s cheek. 

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” He said, Jaemin simply smiled. 

Chenle and Jisung cuddled into Haechan for comfort as tears spilled from their eyes.

“Now, tell us who you are,” Taeyong said and Jeno furrowed his brows. 

“We’re just teenagers, man,” Jeno said, making Taeyong scoff. 

“Obviously not, you’re capable of hacking cameras and killing people, are there more of you?”

“We’re not a gang, and so what? It doesn't matter anyway,” Jeno said, “We only kill in self defense asshole,”

“Well it does matter when you kill on our territory,”

“Your territory is shit!” Jaemin yelled, “Crimes go on there all the time but when we defend ourselves, you want to fight us! How about you take care of your territory instead of blaming us for people hating you?”

“That’s enough,” Kun said, “Who are you?” 

“What the fuck are you talking about? We're ju-” Jeno asked before he was interrupted, Chenle and Jaemin focused on keeping Haechan calm. 

“Where are your parents? Why are their missing posters with his name on it,” Kun slammed a paper on the coffee table, it had Haechan’s face on it, pointing at the male, “When he’s right here?” 

Haechan moved his eyes away from Kun, there was no doubt he wouldn’t be able to talk for a while.

This was too stressful for him.

“You don't know shit!” Jaemin growled, “None of you know the shit we’ve been through, yet you want to act like we’re just serial killers!”

“You might as well be!” Mark said, “I don't even know how you got Haechan involved in this,”

“You need to shut the fuck up Mark, you can’t say shit!” Jeno yelled, “Where were you when Haechan needed you?”

“What are you talki-” Haechan started to cry, Chenle cuddled into him. 

“Look at what you’ve done,” Chenle yelled, “You need to shut up!”

The air in the room stilled, Taeyong sighed.

“I’m done playing around,” He grabbed the gun off the coffee table, pointing it at Jeno. 

“Are you going to join us or not?” He asked.

“No!” Jeno yelled and Taeyong shrugged.

“That sucks, you would have made a great addition to the team,” Taeyong said, “Mark, you can take Haechan if you want, everyone else is dead,”

Mark just nodded, gesturing to a tall man to get Haechan.

Haechan shook his head rapidly, he kicked as a tall male dragged him away from his boys and to Mark and NCT. He fought and fought as he saw Taeyong place the barrel of the gun to Jeno’s forehead. The tears couldn’t stop flowing and he couldn't breathe. He didn't know what to do, why would he be spared? Why did Mark have to miss him? How could Mark let this happen? Haechan wanted to scream, he didn't want this. He didn't want to live without them in his life. He could see the boy’s crying, even Jeno’s eyes had turned red as the gun stayed planted to his forehead. Renjun cried, gasping for breath as Jaemin begged for this to stop, to let them go. Chenle and Jisung cuddled into each other and told the others how much they loved them. 

There was no doubt that Jeno was the bravest. 

He stared into Taeyong’s eyes with anger and defiance, even as the man had his finger on the trigger. 

Their dreams wouldn't come true. 

This is how it would end for them, and it would be without him.

The door to the room slammed open and Winwin rushed in; He pushed Taeyong away from Jeno and the room stilled once again. 

Taeyong looked angry, furious even.

"What are you doing Sicheng?" Taeyong said as he aimed the gun at Winwin's head, making him shake. 

A faint “Gege?” blurted from Chenle’s lips as Winwin stood in front of the boys, ready to die for them.

Ready to be regarded as a traitor for them. 

He was ready to risk everything for them.

“Taeyong, you can’t do this!” 

“Winwin? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Kun yelled and Winwin didn’t let his fear stop him. 

“I can’t let you do this,” Winwin stated, “They’re not dangerous to us, I’ve known them for a long time,” 

“This is cruel, even for you Taeyong,” Winwin continued. “Please don't do this,”

Taeyong stayed silent. 

“Please…” 

Taeyong sighed and looked Winwin in the eyes. 

“You’re lucky you’ve been a trusted member of NCT because I would have killed you before you spoke,” Taeyong dropped the gun on the coffee table, Winwin flinched, “But, the only way I’ll let them go if I can monitor them for a few days, they’ll stay here, and then we’ll send them home,”  
“Really?” 

“Only if they are as harmless as you say they are,” Taeyong said, “But I can’t guarantee I’ll let them live, I’m just respecting you as one of the top members of our organization,” He moved close to Winwin, almost being able to whisper in his ear. Winwin gulped, his body shaking ever so slightly. 

“Don’t make me regret it,” 

Taeyong let the members of NCT cut the ties off boys wrists, before leaving the room. Jeno could see the heat in the leader’s eyes, he doubted that he intended to let them go. He knew it in the pit of his stomach, but this was their only chance to get out of here alive. 

Winwin let out the breath he was holding, and turned to the boys. He didn’t expect forgiveness, especially from Chenle or Jisung.

He betrayed them. 

Yet, when he felt their arms wrap around, he cried. 

“Thank you Gege,” Chenle whispered, Winwin smiled. 

“I’m so glad you're alright,” Winwin kissed the top of Chenle’s head, tears in his eyes.

They weren’t safe, but at least they weren’t dead. 

Haechan moved his wrist when he was released from his ropes. He looked over at Mark before heading back to Jeno and the others. He snuggled into Jeno’s embrace with a smile, he wasn't dead. None of them were dead, not yet. Winwin pulled away when Kun called him, he simply gave a sad smile to the boys and left. 

The boys looked in Winwin’s direction in fear, would they kill him? Winwin simply waved before he left their sight, the boys hoped nothing would happen to him. 

He didn't deserve that. 

He saved them...

A voice broke their concentration. 

“You guys gotta go back in one of the rooms,” Doyoung said, gesturing for them to follow him. Two other people walked with them as well, making sure the boys didn't attempt to escape. 

They could have attacked Doyoung and the others as he led him to their “room” but it was a bad idea. They had barely escaped from being executed by Taeyong, if they acted hastily it could cost them their lives. Especially since they were all unarmed. Haechan signed to the others, “Don’t attack him,”. The others didn't do anything, figuring Haechan was right.

They followed Doyoung into a “room”, similar to the one Renjun woke up in. 

They all walked in without resistance, allowing for Doyoung to lock the door behind him. 

“We’re dead,” Renjun said, slumping down against a wall. 

“Junnie…” Jaemin sat beside him. 

“They’re not going to let us go, we all know it,” Renjun put his hands on his face, the tears involuntarily leaking out his eyes. 

Jaemin sighed, sitting beside Renjun.

“Junnie, did you think about…” Renjun nodded, sobs leaving his throat. 

“They’re not here Junnie, we are, we’re here,” Jaemin hugged Renjun, humming a small rhyme to lull the boy into a state of peace. 

They formed a cuddle pile and pretended they were at the apartment, that they were safe. 

Renjun leaned against Jaemin. He focused on Jaemin’s humming, rather than the doom they were in. He felt himself drifting off, surrounded by the warmness of the boys around him. 

If he dreams of seeing the child version of himself and hugging him tightly, whispering apologies, he pretends he doesn't remember it. Even as the tears stained his cheeks, and everyone knows the truth, no one says a thing. 

They kept the peace. 

It was the only thing they could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! I feel like this chapter was intense but no way as intense as the last one, still i'm not letting you all breathe. Sorry!


	6. Become Stronger as we crash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama and Revelations...

Winwin flinched as Kun yelled at him. He couldn’t focus on the other’s words, simply accepting the punishment he was getting. The rest of WayV stood around him, only Lucas didn’t look angered by Winwin’s action to save the boys. 

“What were you thinking? You have no idea what you could have done to all of us!” Kun yelled, Winwin stayed silent.

“We are a newly formed part of NCT and Taeyong trusts us, yet you pull this stunt? These boys are nothing to us and they shouldn’t be anything to you!” 

“You’re wrong,” Winwin said, “You don’t know what they mean to me,”

“What about us? You nearly cost us our lives and you would rather protect them? How much did you really know then? Were you hiding information?” Winwin stayed silent. “You’re an idiot!”

“Kun, it’s enough,” Lucas said, making Kun furious.

“What? You’re on his side?”

“Lucas…” Winwin said, “Don’t get involved, please…” 

Lucas sighed and sealed his lips. 

Winwin tried to defend himself again when a pain on his cheek came out of nowhere. 

Winwin stumbled to the floor. 

Kun had slapped him. 

He held his cheek in shock. 

“That was too far,” Ten said, rushing to pick up Winwin from the ground. “You know what he’s been through,” 

“Winwin… I didn’t mea- I w-” Kun sputtered. 

Winwin stood up and left the room, Lucas following behind him.

Kun sighed, dragging his hands down his face. 

“I-” Kun said before exiting the room, the rest of WayV simply stayed quiet. 

When Chenle woke up, his body ached from the uncomfortable position he slept in. He looked around and realized everyone was still asleep. He couldn't stay still though; He needed to stretch. Chenle carefully removed himself from Jisung and Jeno’s grip, before standing up. He stretched his arms behind himself, and looked around the room. 

There wasn't much to look at in the room, it was empty. The only thing in there was them. Chenle sighed looking at the door to the room, he was trapped in here. He had the boys, but they were alone together. They had no one else but themselves. They were teens in the way of NCT’s reign on South Korea. 

Winwin was the only one here that seemed to care about their lives, to the others they were dispensable.

Only Winwin would risk his life for them. 

They were nothing to anyone else. 

Chenle jumped when arms wrapped around him. 

He knew who it was. 

“Jisung…” He whined, the younger laughed. 

“Sorry Chenle,” 

Chenle sat back down with Jisung, they rested against the wall and interlocked hands. They didn't say a word, they let the silence speak for itself. They focused on the sound of the others’ breathing, relief but sadness was they could feel at that moment. Everyone was breathing, everyone was alive. Yet, they were trapped here. Chenle hated the feeling of being trapped, Jisung did too. The feeling brought memories that they would only speak about occasionally. Yet, they would always remember the other’s story. They could never forget what the others’ and themselves have been through. The boys locked eyes, smiling through the hardship. 

They didn't want to suffer, but at least they had each other. 

Even if that was selfish to think. 

The door to the room opened, the boys flinched and tried to hurry away until they realized who it was. Winwin held plates of food as he entered the room, Lucas stood outside the door. Winwin smiled at the boys before placing plates of sweets from his bakery on the floor. 

“Here’s some food, I knew you would be hungry, it took me awhile to convince them to let you eat but I wouldn’t give up,” 

Chenle and Jisung shook the other boys awake. They groaned but when they heard the word “food”, they rushed to the plates in the room. The boys ate quickly, despite the scoldings by Winwin to eat slower. When the boys finished, Winwin spoke.

“Come on, Taeyong and the others want to meet you again,” Winwin said, the boys were ready to leave when Haechan spoke, almost inaudible. 

“What happened to your cheek?” Winwin placed his hand on his cheek. 

The others hadn’t noticed the bright redness on the Winwin’s cheek. They focused on eating as it had been a few days since their last meal. However, looking at Winwin’s cheek made the others enraged. 

“Please, don't get mad over it, it’ll ruin everything I'm doing for you,” Winwin said, the boys stayed silent. 

The heat bubbled in their stomachs, but they followed Winwin’s words. 

They would be dead in a second if they tried anything. 

Winwin and Lucas lead them out of the room. Lucas talked a little to Jeno and the others, but he stayed silent for the most part. Winwin had somewhat explained why he couldn't act normal with them, and they tried to understand. They figured Lucas would have to be a silent supporter of them, ready to save them if Winwin couldn't. To NCT, Jeno working for Lucas was merely that. Lucas didn't know anything or care for them like Winwin, or that’s what NCT saw. He was their backup plan. 

The boys followed Winwin and took in their surroundings. They walked down the hall, there were two other doors leading to other rooms. At the end of the dark, wooden floor there was a staircase. They walked down it and onto the first floor of the house. None of the boys knew how big this house was. Winwin lead them past a few rooms before he finally opened a set of double doors leading to a dining room. It had a long, dark dining table with six dark, wooden chairs on each side. Each seat had red cushions but the attention focused on the two special chairs there. At the ends the table, there sat a fancy chair that could almost be regarded as a throne. They were large and different from the simple chairs at the sides of the table. The boys looked at each other in shock, while Renjun and Chenle seemed unimpressed. 

Most likely due to their upbringings. 

The boys sat at the left side of the table, fitting all six of them. Winwin and Lucas remained standing behind the seated boys instead of sitting. The boys looked at each other while Jisung stared around the room.

‘Look! It’s a large chandelier.” Jisung pointed at the ceiling, it almost seemed to be made of crystals. 

“It looks like the chandelier you had, Lele,” Renjun commented before freezing, “Sorry I didn't say tha-”

Chenle raised a brow as he looked at it, “Mine wasn't as tacky at this one,” he blurted. 

The boys’ jaws dropped down.

Chenle flushed after he realized what he had said. 

“Sorry guys... sometimes my old self comes out talking about rich stuff,” Chenle rubbed the back of his neck. He felt embarrassed but Renjun just patted his head and smiled. 

“It’s fine, sorry for bringing it up,”

The door opened behind them and they stopped talking. 

“Ah, you’re here.” Taeyong walked in, NCT filing in behind him as usual. 

Taeyong sat at the far end of the long dining table, where the fancy chair sat. Kun sat at the closest end of the table. NCT and WayV stood around the room, seemingly prepared for if the boys tried to attack the leaders. 

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, I want you all to tell me who you are,” Taeyong said, interlocking hands on top of the table. 

“Meaning?” Jaemin crossed his arms. 

“Names, where your from, and what were doing in the area we found you in,” Kun explained. 

“Why should we tell you? Even you should have figured we were runaways,” Jeno said, Taeyong raised a brow. 

“So, you ran away from home and got into a gang?” Taeyong asked, making Jeno sigh. 

“How many times do we have to tell you?” Jeno said, “We’re not a gang, we’re just teenagers,”

“I highly doubt that, how do you know how to hack? How to kill?” Kun commented, “Someone must have trained you,”

“I was in an elite technology program and club when I went to school,” Renjun piped up, “There’s your answer for that question,”

Taeyong raised an eyebrow ,“Elite? You’re a runaway, I don-”

“See, you’re assuming things about us,” Jaemin said, “You assume we’re street rats and that we’ve always been that, you assume that we’re poor, you’re assuming all this stuff about us,”

“We’re not street rats, we’re a family,” Jisung murmured, Kun looked taken aback. 

“We told you we’ve been through shit, but you guys wanted to force your own agenda on us,” Jeno said, staring right into Taeyong’s eyes. “We’re just trying to make it out of our situation,”

“So, fuck off, is essentially what we’re saying,” Jaemin whispered under his breath, it was still loud enough for the two leaders to hear. 

Taeyong stayed silent. 

“I don't believe you just yet,” Kun said, “But if it’s true, then how the fuck did you learn how to kill? You’re young as hell,”

“Self defense, two words, we’ve said them repeatedly,” Jeno deadpanned, crossing his arms.

“We need to make sure if what you're saying is true, is the-” Kun asked before Jaemin interrupted.

“If you want us to tell about our pasts or family, then you’re out of luck. That’s the one thing we won’t do,” Jaemin glared, making Kun sigh. 

“I can help,” Winwin said, “I won't talk about their pasts, but I could help prove some of what their saying,” 

“Winwin, do you really trust these boys?” Taeyong asked, staring at Winwin in curiosity. 

“Yes, with my whole life,” Taeyong looked at Kun. 

“Winwin will need to prove these claims true the next time we meet.” Taeyong said, “If he can convince us, we’ll decide what to do with you.” 

“What is this? A courthouse,” Haechan murmured to Chenle, finally speaking, making Taeyong look at him. 

“I know you from what Mark’s told us, I don’t know why you ran away, but for Mark’s sake and yours, I hope it’s a good reason,” Taeyong said, standing up. 

Haechan stayed silent.

“You better hope for Mark’s sake that he leaves us alone,” Jeno said, Taeyong sighed. 

“I’m not sure he will now, but if you try anything with him, I won't hesitate to kill you,” Taeyong left the room, Kun stood up and followed him out. 

The members of NCT and Wayv stood around the room. Jaemin looked at Xiaojun in shock while Haechan did the same with Ten. They were surrounded by so many members of NCT and they didn't even know. Was their shitty area that important to them?

“Haechan?” Mark spoke, Haechan didn’t respond. 

“It’s been two years…” Mark continued, Jeno rolled his eyes. 

“Get to the point,” Jeno said. 

“When’d you get that scar on your cheek,” Haechan wanted to die. 

Haechan never took off his mask, and it was due to that scar on his cheek. It stretched from the bottom of his cheekbone and close to the left corner of his mouth. It brought back bad memories, the memories of that night. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t ask about that?” Jeno said, “Kinda rude,”

“Do you have a problem with me?” Mark asked, Jeno scoffed.

“I’m pretty sure all my boys here have a problem with you,” 

“Your boys?” Mark asked, “Sounds like a cult, is that how you got those two b-” 

“You should shut your mouth,” Jisung interrupted, clenching his fists, “No one is allowed to insult them, you don't know anything!”

Mark looked at Jisung in shock. 

“Sungie…” Chenle said, “Calm down,” He brought the boy into his arms, whispering calming words. 

“Look, I’m not going to say it’s your fault, but… do you even know shit? No? That’s what I thought,” Jeno said, Mark started getting irate. 

“All I know is that I come back from Canada and Haechan is gone!” Mark growled, “And apparently there were rumors that he s-

“Oh, Shut the fuck up Mark!” Jeno slammed his hands down at the table. "You need to watch what you say about Haechan!"

“Or what?” Mark asked, Jeno laughed in disbelief. 

“I’ll bust your face in,” Jeno threatened, moving to step away from his chair. “You’re not that smart, are you?”

The members of NCT around him seemed to tense up. 

Haechan got scared, he needed to speak up, so he forced himself. 

“Jeno,” Haechan said, “Drop it, please...” 

“Hae…” He looked between Mark and Haechan before sitting back down. 

“You don't know shit,” Jeno grumbled, his arms crossed. 

“It’s enough,” Renjun spoke, “ You obviously can’t comprehend that he wanted to come with us. Mark, he made that choice, not anyone else,” 

“Why? That’s what I don't understand,” 

“Then you should have done more to understand,” Renjun said, “Getting mad at Haechan or us won’t make things change or go back,”

“Winwin…” Haechan whispered, “I wanna go back to that room, can we?”

“Yeah, I can take you back,” 

“Donghyu-”

“Don’t call me by that name,” Haechan snapped, standing up and following Winwin out the room. 

If Jeno (and Jisung) flip off Mark on the way out, the others refuse to comment about it. 

When they made it back into the room, Haechan slid against the wall and tucked his head between his knees. Renjun and Jeno sat beside him. 

“I really hate being here,” Haechan said, Jisung sat in front of him.

“Me too,” Jisung said, holding Haechan's hands. 

Jisung didn't want to lose this family, it was the only one he had ever had.

He would make sure of it, he couldn't let them be torn apart or hurt. 

Ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going back to school on 08/14/2019. 
> 
> My updates will most likely become every weekend or every other one, but i hope i can keep posting regularly cause i love this story. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and wish me luck going back to school. 
> 
> I hate school...


	7. Stay with me,  I always say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> False hope...

Haechan stared up at the ceiling of the room in boredom. He sighed as the boys laid around him, they were all sleeping. Haechan couldn't sleep though, he was worried. He was worried that they wouldn’t be allowed to leave, he was worried that they would be killed, and he was worried about seeing Mark again.

Mark hadn’t done anything bad when they dated, but the situations that lead up to Haechan running away had been… not so favorable. He sighed, he hated remembering everything before he ran away. Even the good memories had been spoiled by that day. It was the day of the party. 

He sighed, stirring Jeno out of his sleep.

"Great..." Haechan thought, as he looked over to him. 

“Haechan?” Jeno mumbled, sitting up. 

“Yeah?”

"Why are you still up?" Jeno opened his arms. “Do you wanna come here with me,”

“Ew, no,” Haechan said, but he carefully moved around the others and sat next to Jeno. 

“Let’s sleep, stop thinking so much,” Jeno laid back down and Haechan looked reluctant. “What’s wrong?”

“I-” Haechan said, “I don’t know, I’m just…”

“Come here,”

Haechan placed his head on Jeno’s chest, and closed his eyes. He felt safer when the other wrapped his arms around him. Haechan trusted Jeno with his life and felt indebted to him. The other had saved him that night, even if they both hadn’t left unscathed. He risked his own safety for Haechan. 

He needed to stop thinking about his memories. He didn't want to get panicked again. Haechan started to fall asleep when Jeno pet his hair, letting his body grow heavy. 

They could make it through this.

They needed to. 

“Stay with me,” Haechan whispered, he fell asleep.

“I will,” Jeno said, even though he knew the boy on his chest was deep into his dreams. 

He would never leave Haechan. 

He would never leave them. 

Jeno fell asleep... 

Jeno woke up to the door opening and groaned, turning his head towards the door. He saw Winwin outside with food. However, instead of Lucas standing behind him, It was Mark. Jeno felt the urge to groan again. 

Jeno shook Haechan awake, gently pushing him off, before waking up the others. 

The boys dug into the food. 

“If you’re going to glare at me, don't be so obvious,” Jeno said, biting into a strudel. 

Mark looked away, his arms crossed. 

Winwin sat in front of them, a nervous smile etched on his face. 

“I got some stuff,” Winwin said, “I’m not sure if it’s any good but I hope it can help you all,” 

“We trust you, Winwin,” Renjun said, “We know you’ll try your best,” 

“Thank you, I hope it’s enough,”

The teenagers headed down to the dining room once again. They felt like criminals on a trial, but they knew that Winwin was fighting for them. It gave them more ease. He would try his best. They sat down on the left side of the table once again, Winwin had left to grab some things before the leaders of NCT and WayV appeared. The members of NCT and WayV stood around them once again. 

It was an awkward silence. 

The leaders entered the room after twenty minutes. 

They took their respective seats.

“Hello, welcome back,” Taeyong said, Jeno huffed. 

“Let’s skip the pleasantries and start,” He said, Taeyong raised a brow. 

“Using my words? Fair enough, anyway…” He said, “Where’s Winwin?”

“Grabbing stuff,” Jaemin answered curtly.

They waited a few minutes before the male finally came into the room. 

“Sorry, I had to make sure that I had everything,” Winwin held a box in his arms. “I’m sorry if I bring out stuff you don’t like,” He said to Renjun.

“It’s fine,” Renjun said, “Do what you need to do,”

He placed it on top of the table. 

“I’ve known Renjun since he was twelve,”

Winwin took out a scrapbook and flipped to a page. The pictures had shown both Winwin and Renjun when they were younger. It was a cute photo of the both of them standing together holding out peace signs. It was the time they had gone to a resort in China, it was a fond memory for the both of them. Renjun smiled looking at the memories in the book. 

“How’d you meet him?” Taeyong asked, Winwin cringed but answered. 

“I met him at a group therapy session, it was for the rich only,” Renjun smiled went down a little.

“Therapy?” Kun asked, Winwin nodded. 

“Trauma, that’s all I’ll say about that,” 

“Continue,” Taeyong said.

“I left to Korea when I was nineteen, but we kept in touch over the years,” Winwin continued, “It was almost two years ago when I got a call from him, he wanted to visit,”

“When he came, he had the rest of them with him,”

Taeyong sat back in his chair, increasingly interested. 

“Over time, there was some news of missing children but I didn’t call the police, I wouldn’t let them go back to their old lives, they had gone through so much,” 

Winwin took out some missing children posters, there were only three: Renjun, Jaemin, and Chenle. 

“Where are the rest?” Taeyong asked. 

“No one was searching for us,” Jeno interjected, “Jisung, Haechan, and I didn’t have anyone who cared, the only reason Haechan was being looked for and had posters was probably because of Mark,”

“I see…” Kun said. 

Mark stayed silent, his expression grim. 

“Continue,” Taeyong said, Winwin nodded. 

“I helped them get jobs, they didn’t work for a gang because WayV guarded the territory heavily, no gangs could even form if they wanted to,” Winwin said, “Gangs didn't even dare to send their members to NCT territory, knowing they would be killed,”

“Kun even knew this information,” Winwin said, making Kun frown. “That’s why the killings didn’t even get noticed until it was someone on NCT’s radar, we figured that we were in a bad area,”

“He knew a gang couldn’t have done it,”

The teenagers looked at Kun and the older sighed.

“The only reason we thought that was because we thought these skills were too complex for teenagers, I guess we were wrong,” Kun said.

“Hm…” Taeyong hummed, the cogs in his mind turning. 

“They all also worked with members of WayV, if they were suspicious, WayV would have immediately caught them,” Winwin continued.

“So, please, they’re not gang members and they’re not dangerous to us, let them go,” 

“I'll believe you, I don't think you would lie to us,” Taeyong said and Winwin felt victorious.

“We’re not letting them go because of that,” 

Winwin froze in shock.

“What?” 

“You’ve proven they’re not in a gang, so they’ll be joining us now,” Taeyong said, “You think we can let these skills go to waste? They would be an asset,”

“You can’t do this!” Winwin yelled, “They’re just boys!” 

“I’ll do whatever I want,” Taeyong said, staring into Winwin’s eyes with a bitter coldness. 

“And what makes you think we’ll do what you say?” Jeno asked, Taeyong sighed and snapped his fingers. 

Chenle was forced up from his seat by one of the men, a gun pointed to his temple. Renjun stiffened, staring in disbelief. He didn't understand why this happening. Were they really that useful? Why hadn’t this nightmare ended already? 

“Taeyong! Please stop this!” Winwin said, “I don’t know why you’re doing this!”

“Potential,” Taeyong simply said, “They’ll grow to enjoy their role here, whether they like it or not,” 

Taeyong stood from his seat and looked over the six boys. 

“Welcome to NCT, dreamies,” Taeyong said, “Lock them up,”

“Taeyong…” Winwin said, “P-”

“Don't you get it? They’ll do anything I want as long as someone they care about is at stake,” Taeyong explained, “That’s why they’re perfect,”

“I can’t let this happ-”

“I know you won’t,” Taeyong interrupted, “That’s why you’re getting locked up too, and if you resist,” 

Taeyong pointed at Chenle, making the teen flinch, and made a gun shooting motion with his hand. 

“They die,” He smirked, "I can't waste this opportunity Winwin, I'm not letting you get in my way,"

Winwin couldn’t do anything as the others were lead out of the room, he couldn’t do anything when Yuta lead him to the room with them. He could barely hear the “I’m sorry,” Yuta whispered to him when he pushed Winwin into the room with them. He had only given Taeyong what he wanted, but it wasn’t like he did have a choice to begin with. He had hoped it would be freedom, but Taeyong only had two choices planned all along: Recruitment or Death. 

He was an idiot to think Taeyong would actually listen to him. 

He should have made helped them escape. 

“Winwin…” Renjun said, Winwin sobbed and fell to the ground. 

“I’m so useless,” He whispered, “Trash, I’m trash,” 

Renjun rushed over and held Winwin in his arms. 

“Remember our promise?” Renjun whispered, “What was it?”

“We’ll escape when you get old enough to leave home,” Winwin said, “Then, we’ll run far away and find a place to stay together,”

“Exactly, we still need to make that promise true, don’t lose hope now,” 

The boys cuddled together, whilst Renjun comforted Winwin. 

What would staying here entail for them? 

They didn't know.... 

The boys had lost hope, but they had each other. 

They couldn’t let this bring them down. 

They needed to stay together.

Stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school was good , thankfully. I'm glad i like my teachers and all that jazz. 
> 
> The boys aren't out of their situation just yet, sorry. 
> 
> Also, i feel like this chapter is lacking but it's a needed chapter to progress into the next chapter.
> 
> Get ready for partial friendships to be made next chapter.


	8. Show Me What You Got

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about being away for so long, i'm focusing on school and I'm having a hard time to think up plot for this story. I hope you can still enjoy this, I'm trying to keep everything from making no sense. Also good luck to you all with the hurricane coming to America, I live in Florida so I'm gonna get hit most likely. rip. Stay safe yall.

Winwin sat beside Renjun, they looked at the sun setting as its rays purify them.

“One day, we’ll be free,” Winwin said, Renjun hummed.

“I know we will,” he responded, but they both had doubts in their mind.

“Let’s promise to make it happen,” Winwin said and Renjun simply smiled.

They locked pinkies, despairing hope both filling them.

When Winwin woke up, he was left in the room alone, and it was eating at him. He had no idea what was going on, or where his boys were. He wouldn’t be able to protect them. 

He couldn’t save them...

He was stuck in here.

He shook in his anxiousness, it felt like the familiar sensation of a withdrawal. Yet, this time it wasn’t drugs, it was the bitter feeling that the boys were away and he had no idea what was happening.

When the boys were pulled out the room, they had no idea what NCT was planning. Had they changed their minds? Were they going to kill them? They didn’t know. 

While Winwin panicked, the boys were being led into a large, open room. There wasn’t much in it besides sports equipment and other things. The boys looked around in curiosity before a voice cut off the cogs turning in their minds. 

“File against that wall over there,” A pink haired man ordered, pointing to a wall to the left of the room. 

The boys complied, they pressed their backs against the wall.

“Now that you’re members of NCT, you will be trained like us,” The man said, “My name is Jaehyun, and I hope we won’t have any incidents,”

“Otherwise, we have permission to kill you,”

Jeno glared at the man, and the other NCT members behind him. He knew he couldn't use his strength to force his way out of this. 

“If you comply with us, then you’ll gradually get rewards and permissions from Taeyong,” Jaehyun explained, “You might even be able to go home or wherever you all lived,”

This piqued the attention of the six boys. 

“Don’t look so hopeful, you’ll need to prove your loyalty,” Doyoung said, “Now let’s introduce ourselves,”

The boys stayed silent as the members of NCT introduced themselves. 

“Now your turn,” Doyoung said, “Mention your strengths or skills as well, I need to see what we’re working with,”

“I’m Jeno, I’m strong,” Jeno said.

“Quite blunt…” Doyoung thought, looking over to the next boy. 

“My name’s Jaemin, I’m… good at seducing I guess?” Doyoung and a few others seemed to be alarmed but didn’t question further. 

“Renjun…and I can hack,”

“Ah, so you’re the hacker,” Doyoung said, “Next?”

“Haechan….” Haechan whispered, “I… I know sign language.” 

“Useful, next,” Doyoung said. 

“I’m Chenle and I have a high pain tolerance,”

“A… high pain tolerance?” Doyoung questioned, Chenle nodded. 

“Yeah,”

“Okay…” Doyoung said, “Next?”

“Jisung, I’m fast and good at hiding,”

“Two things, nice, now let’s start,”

The training went on for hours, and by the end of it, the boys were completely exhausted. It had been draining as they were forced to run on treadmills and lift weights. 

Renjun and Haechan were especially tired, they weren’t the most athletic people. 

“Good warm up, now it’s time for the real thing,”

“Excuse me, but what the hell are you talking about?” Jeno asked, “That wasn’t the training? That was a warm up?”

“To be in this group requires lots of training, Taeyong only wants the best men,” Doyoung explained.

“But we don't even want to be here! Why do we have to do all this shit?” Jeno continued.

“If it’s what Taeyong wants, w-”

“What about what you want? What about what we want?” Jeno asked.

“Jeno…” Renjun warned, “Ple-”

“Right now, all I want is to shoot you all in the head, but we were giving orders not to by our fucking boss,” Yuta growled, making Jisung stiffen. “You all are so fucking annoying, I have no idea what Taeyong sees in you, or Winw-”

“I’m going to cut you off there asshole, say whatever about your fucking sadist of a boss, but keep Winwin’s name out of your filthy mouth,” Jeno interrupted, “You were the one who pushed him in the fucking room, you didn't stand up for him!”

Jisung shook as the two grew progressively louder, threats being thrown from both sides.

“That’s it, I swear to god I’m going to fucking kill you.” Yuta clenched his fist, ready to charge at Jeno.

“I’d like to see you try you motherfucker!” Jeno yelled, ready to charge as well. 

"Please stop..." Jisung whimpered, but the boy's pleas seemed to fall on deaf ears.

“That’s enough!” Doyoung yelled, “You’re behaving like fucking children,”

“I’m eighteen, what’s his fucking excuse?” Jeno said, Yuta moved forward.

He was held back by some of his members.

“Keep saying shit and see what happens!”

“Fuck you,” Jeno said, “I’ll do what I want,”

"Stop it..." Jisung could feel the panic set in, while memories he didn't want to remember reappeared.

The screaming seemed to flash back memories, memories of his old life and home.

He looked over at Haechan, whose breath rushed in and out, but it wasn’t due to the exercise.

He was panicking.

Jaemin tried to calm Jeno down while Yuta attempted to pull away from Johnny and Jaehyun.

“Jeno, it’s enough,” Jaemin pleaded, while Haechan stared at the scene helplessly.

In the midst of this, Jisung could feel the bubbling of anger in the pit of his stomach. It was a sensation he had only felt a few times, whenever he was overwhelmed. 

No one was listening to him, everyone was being selfish, Jeno was going to get hurt...

They were too loud, Jisung couldn't handle it anymore.

It was driving him crazy...

“Yuta, it’s not worth it,” Johnny said, but he wouldn’t listen.

“Let go, I’m going to end this fucker and his cult ass fam-”

The dam bursted.

“Just shut up! Everyone needs to shut up!” Jisung yelled, “You’re all too fucking loud,”

“Ji-” Jeno said but the younger was too furious, something that was uncommon. 

It was unlike the younger to get so angry.

“You’re making too much fucking noise, Haechan is going to have a panic attack, and I just to go home but fighting won't make it happen faster!” Jisung continued. 

“Kid… chill o-”

“Fuck off! My name is Jisung! Ji-SUNG! You bastards have no idea what the hell you’ve put us through and you’re acting like we WANT to be here!” 

“Jisung, you’re getting too frustrated, you need to bre-” Renjun tried to say before he was interrupted by Jisung’s tirade. 

“You all are fucking horrible, I hate all of you! I hate living! I wish Yuta would actually shoot me in the fucking head! Maybe then I could have peace for a change!” Jisung boomed, holding his hands to his ears and hunching over. 

Yuta stayed silent, no longer struggling against the hands holding him. 

“I didn’t me-”

“Yes you did! You meant everything you said! I’m tired! I want to DIE! Kill me if you hate me so much!” 

The room grew silent as they watched the boy in shock. 

“Jisung,” Chenle whispered, watching as the boy crumbled to the floor and cried. 

“I… I think that’s all for today…” Doyoung said, “We’ll take you back to the room,”

Chenle hurried to help Jisung up, the distraught teen simply crying. 

"You better learn how to shut up," Jaehyun said to Yuta, before leading the boys back to their room. 

"You fucked up Yuta," Doyoung said, "Taeyong wants us to recruit them, not make them more rebellious," 

"I didn't mean to, I-"

"You were just jealous that Winwin cared about them so much, right?" Doyoung interrupted before leaving. 

Yuta stayed silent...

When the boys entered the room, Winwin rushed over to greet them.

"I'm so glad you're okay, I was so worried," 

"Well...” Jeno trailed off. 

Winwin looked over to Jisung and saw how hysterical the boy was.

"What happened?"

Taeyong sighed as Doyoung relayed the news to him. 

"Fucking hell, Yuta shouldn't stand guard anymore if this is how he'll act," Taeyong said, "I don't know how much time it'll take to get these boys on our side now,"

"Taeyong, pardon my interruption, but is this worth it to you?" Doyoung asked, Taeyong sighed. 

"Yes, it is," Taeyong said, "Bring in Jisung, I want to talk to him," Doyoung stiffened. 

"Sir, W-"

"Did I ask you a question? Just do it!" Taeyong growled and Doyoung scurried off to get the youngest teen. 

Taeyong needed to get them stuck in his web, one by one, and then they would never be able to leave. 

"Potential," Taeyong thought, "Potential..."

Jisung laid on the floor and stared up at the ceiling, he remembered those days in the past when he would beg for death like he did today. His parents always hang him by a thread after each beating, but they never had the guts to kill him.

He always begged but they wanted to keep their punching around forever. 

"Are you okay?" Someone asked, Jisung didn't respond. 

He felt hollow.


	9. The Dancing Child with an Innocent Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung and Taeyong time. 
> 
> //Some triggering material inside, but this story is pretty intense so I guess you're prepared for it already?//
> 
> Added my contact info and twitter at the bottom if you wanna be friends or follow updates on twitter or something.

Jisung didn’t bother to look up when the door to the room opened, he stared up at the ceiling. He didn’t register the world around him till a hand shook his shoulder. 

“Jisung… Taeyong would like to see you,”

The young boy sighed before sitting up. 

“You’re actually going to go? I don-” Jeno said but Jisung put a finger to his mouth, shushing the older.

“Stop acting like we have a choice,” Jisung said, before standing up and heading to the door.

  


Outside, Doyoung stood there waiting to escort Jisung to the leader’s office. The boy walked out the room, leaving the people inside with faces of terror. Jisung looked at Chenle, the boy looked the most visibly panicked out of all of them. Jisung simply smiled at him before Doyoung closed the door and led him to a room downstairs.

Doyoung gestured for him to enter and he did. He opened the door and met eyes with the notorious gang leader that was causing their suffering. Jisung hated seeing the smirk on the red head’s face. Taeyong sat at a dark wooden desk in the middle of the room, staring but not saying a word. The only thing on his face was a smirk. 

Jisung moved forward and sat across from the man. He looked at him with a dead expression, waiting for the leader to speak.

  


“So you’re the youngest? Jisung right?” Taeyong asked, Jisung nodded. 

“Hm… So care to tell me more about you crew,”

“No.” Taeyong’s eyes grew wider slightly, but he remained composed. 

“Hm, are you sure?” Taeyong asked, “We found out where you parents live, would you mind if we paid a visit?”

“You think I give care about them?” Jisung said, making the leader raise a brow. “You really haven’t been paying attention. Do you think we ran away because we felt like it? That’s insulting,”

“So why did you run away then?” 

“Our lives sucked, didn’t know you wanted to piece that together for you,” Jisung said, glaring into Taeyong’s eyes.

“Well then, tell me why? How could your lives have been so bad?”

  


That made Jisung fume.

  


“You think this is a joke? That what we went through was nothing? I thought a gang leader was supposed to be smart but you can’t seem to understand anything,” Jisung snapped, Taeyong lips grew tight. 

“Hm, a touchy subject I see,” Taeyong muttered before standing up from his chair, turning around to open the curtains. The red, silk curtains were pulled and a large window was revealed, the light from outside shining in. They seemed to be in a rural area as there were fields and trees outside, Jisung could almost see a pond. 

“I went through things when I was your age, that’s why I asked that.” Taeyong spoke, turning back to face Jisung. “I had my thumb broken by my father at ten for raising my voice, I was whipped at thirteen when I didn’t want to take over the gang. What made your life hard?”

“If I tell you about my life, you can’t ask any of the others for their stories,” Jisung said, “Deal or no deal?”

“Deal,” Taeyong said, sitting back in his chair. 

“Promise me,” Jisung said. 

“Really? Ar-” Taeyong noticed how the younger glared at him

“Fine, I promise, I never break a promise,”

  
  
Jisung stayed silent for a few moments. He didn’t know how to say it out loud, he hadn’t done so in a very long time. He also didn’t know how to say this to Taeyong, an unsympathetic, psychopathic gang leader who kidnaps boys in free time. 

“Well?” Taeyong crossed his arms, making Jisung sigh.

“I was an accidental pregnancy, my parents were young but after I was born things got worse. They would party for hours and abuse drugs and alcohol, I had to fend for myself,” Jisung said. “There, are you happy?”

“That’s not everything,” Jisung froze, “There’s more you’re hiding,”

“What e-”

“I see it in your eyes, I know that’s not it.” Taeyong leaned forward, “Tell me everything,”

Jisung stayed silent as Taeyong stared expectantly. 

“Should I ask someone else t-?”

Taeyong watched as the boy began to rush the words out of his mouth. He listened to the things the boy went through with interest. Taeyong had to focus as he could hardly keep up with the pace the boy was speaking. 

Jisung face grew red in anger as he said everything, something he had never wanted to do again. At the end of his rant, he breathed heavily and tried to catch his breath.

“There are you happy?”

Taeyong stayed silent.

“Worst part is I’m not the worst one out of all of us, that goes to someone else.” Jisung stood up and went to leave the room, Taeyong was stoic but inside he was shocked. 

“Where are you going?” Taeyong asked, Jisung turned back around. 

“I was forced to talk about my past to someone who’s holding me captive, if I stay any longer I might throw up in disgust,” Jisung said, opening the door. Doyoung stood outside and looked back and forth between Jisung and Taeyong.

“Take him back,” Taeyong said, “Bring him back the same time tomorrow,”

  


“Fuck,” Jisung thought.

  


When Jisung entered the room, the boys looked at him expectantly but Jisung didn’t look at them. He simply walked to a far corner of the room and laid down on the floor, curled into the fetal position. He didn’t know what to do, he felt hollow and memories were coming back.  
He remembered when he would be slammed against the floor by his classmates for having a uniform filled with tears. There was also the fact that he had apparently smelled bad. They would yank as his hair force him to smell himself, even trying to stuff his head into a toilet bowl to "clean" him. He would scream but the teacher paid no mind to someone they deemed trouble. 

Jisung knew the teachers saw him as someone “That wouldn’t succeed in society.”

He was poor, no money to buy a new uniform or have a normal teenage life. 

He could only cry when he got home, sneaking in his bedroom to evade him parents.

  


He remembered when his father and mother came in the same day. They had caught him entering his room. His mother stood by the door with her arms crossed and a cigarette in her hand while his father marched forward with a belt in his hand. He didn’t eat any food or steal any jewelry, but they took it out on him.

Jisung knew that his parents were using it as an excuse, seeing as they invited twenty sketchy people around the apartment each day. They knew he didn’t steal it, but it was a way to punish the boy that ruined their lives. Jisung knew his parents were young, but they didn’t try to raise him at all when he was born. He was only an inconvenience for their partying and reckless drug abuse. 

It wasn’t his fault, it was never his fault. 

They put a negative perception of him in their mind, opting for punishment rather than love. They were especially angry that day, even his mother helped that day. She walked over and grabbed Jisung’s arm, burning his arm with the cigarette in her hand. Jisung scream, begging for them to finally do it and kill him, but he was thrown to the floor and the door was closed with a loud slam.

  


He remembered when he locked the door to his room later that night. He heard the sounds of music through the door, and footsteps of strangers moving around the house. The fact was that his parents were too busy using needles and drinking heavy alcohol. They would only party, leaving Jisung to starve in his room.

He remembered the fear he had when one man demanded to be let in his room. 

“I know you’re in there, let me in,” Jisung shook as the door was being pounded on. He could barely hear the words coming through the door except “Your parents promised me! Open the door! I gave them shit for free and this is how I get treated,”

Even at fourteen, Jisung knew what his parents had done. 

They were so desperate for drugs, they would be willing to sell Jisung. The door wasn’t the strongest and Jisung knew what could happen if he stayed. The young boy rushed over to the window, and yanked it open. Luckily he lived on the first floor of his apartment complex. He hopped out the room to escape a grim fate. He sprinted as fast as he could, the world a blur around him. 

He eventually crumbled to the ground, skidding his knees on the floor as he struggled to gain his breath. He looked up and noticed the store open in front of him. He felt his stomach growl. He would have to steal to get something to eat, again… 

He entered the corner store and looked around the aisles. There were a few chocolate bars and chips that Jisung tossed into his pocket before a loud yell shook him. He could see the shop owner rushing over and he rushed out of the store. He sprinted forward, wincing when a can hit his shoulder and knocked him down. The man was getting closer. He accepted his fate when a hand grabbed his arm and yanked him forward, away from the store.

He looked up and saw a boy around his age, the black haired boy rushed him away from the store and into a playground where they hid. They stayed silent as they hid under a playhouse in the park, Jisung couldn’t help but warily glance at the teenager beside him. The store owner seemed to have passed by but they continued to sit still. Jisung gazed at the swings and other playground toys around him, missing the obliviousness he had when he was younger.

After twenty minutes, the older boy spoke. 

“You okay? Jisung nodded. 

"What did you steal?” Jisung pulled out the candy bars from his pockets.

“Why’d you do it? Did you just want to?” Jisung shook his head. 

“My parents don’t feed me or give me money,” Jisung said and the boy beside him sighed. 

“Come on, I’ll get you something to eat at a place nearby,” The boy said, and they slid out from under the playhouse.

“What’s your name? I’m Lee Jeno,” 

“I’m Park Jisu-”

  


Jisung opened his eyes and sat up, attempting to wake himself. He rubbed his eyes and noticed the others sleeping around him. He stood up and looked down at the floor, anger filling his veins. He gazed at his arm and found the faint burn mark on his arm. The burn mark from the cigarette faded but the memory hadn’t ever left him.

“Ji?” Renjun called, but Jisung ignored him. 

“Jisung?” 

“Renjun hyung, leave me alone,” Jisung grumbled, pressing himself against the corner of the wall. "Please..."

“Oh..” Jisung heard Renjun say, “Okay, I’m here if you need me,”

“I’m fine hyung,”

  


He stayed silent for the rest of the day, barely responding to the others around him. 

“What did Taeyong do to you?”

“Nothing,” Jisung responded whenever they would ask, it wasn't a lie.

The others were worried...

  


Soon the hour came where Jisung had to go back to talk to Taeyong again. He followed Doyoung, Jisung was almost tempted to run but he knew better. He entered the room and looked over at Taeyong with a frown, sitting across from him.

“So, we didn’t finish our talk yesterday,”

Jisung stayed silent. 

“You know when I was your age, I had taken over the gang,” Taeyong said, “My father was killed when I was sixteen, I was glad the day that fucker died,” Jisung looked at Taeyong in curiosity. 

“I apologize for threatening to hurt your family and forcing you tell me your story,” Taeyong spoke, “I guess my father’s attitude rubbed off on me,”

“Whatever, just keep your promise,” Jisung said, Taeyong nodded. 

“I will,” He said, Taeyong paused for a few moments before speaking, “Follow me.”

  


Taeyong led Jisung outside, while Doyoung and Jaehyun followed behind them. They went behind the house and Jisung looked at the scenery, taking in breaths of the fresh air he had missed. Taeyong led Jisung to a pond and inside Koi fish swam around. The perimeter of the pond was surrounded by rocks and a small, man made waterfall flowed into the pond. The water was so clear that Jisung could see his reflection, the slight ripples distorting his reflection ever so slightly. He then focused on the fish, all the Koi had unique patterns, making Jisung want to memorize them all.

Jisung kneeled on the ground to look closer into the pond. 

"Beautiful, right?" Taeyong asked, Jisung nodded. 

“I used to sit by here all the time,” Taeyong explained, “I was innocent at that time, my mother would protect me from my father by taking me out here,” Jisung looked up at Taeyong.

  


“That was before he shot her and I watched her fall into this pond, turning the water red,” Taeyong stated, "I was ten at that time,"

  


Jisung flinched, eyes widening in disbelief. 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“You told me your story, I decided to tell you mine,”

Jisung looked away, back into that mesmerizing pond. He could imagine the water turning red, a woman drifting in the water, and a young Taeyong crying.

  


When he entered the room, Jeno rushed over. 

“Jisung! Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” Jisung said, “I’m just confused right now, can we…” 

“Sure,”

  


Jisung laid in Jeno’s arms, holding hands with Chenle. He recalled the pain in Taeyong’s eyes and how real it looked. He didn’t trust the red head but the story painted him in a different light. Jisung didn’t know what to feel, should he feel bad for Taeyong? Is that some type of stockholm syndrome? He leaned his head back, looking over to Winwin and Renjun talking in Chinese. 

“I should apologize to him,” Jisung thought, but closed his eyes. 

He let himself drift asleep.

  


“Taeyong, why’d you tell him that?” Jaehyun asked, Taeyong stared out at the pond.

“I don’t know,” He said, “I saw some of my younger self in him. Is telling him my story partially manipulation? Yes. But, there’s also a part of me that wanted to tell him. I-” 

“Taeyong, do you think we’re doing the right thing?”

Taeyong stayed silent, Jaehyun apologized before leaving.

  


"That's a good question,"


	10. It's all a memory, It's still a little hard

When Jisung woke up, he was still baffled from the day before. There was something so unbelievable about it, as if it were a dream. It made no sense. Why would Taeyong tell him that? Why would he let him outside? He sighed, standing up and stretching his gangly limbs.

“Hey Jisung,” Jisung looked over his shoulder, seeing Winwin was awake too.

“Hey Winwin-hyung, are you okay?” Winwin nodded. 

“Just tired Sungie,”

“Well… Maybe they’ll let you out with us today?”

“Maybe…” Winwin said, voice not raising above a whisper. 

Jisung frowned.

  


Winwin and Jisung sat beside each other, the younger resting his head on the older’s shoulder. It was a comfortable silence, but the natural tension in the air persisted. They still understood the situation they were in. They still understood that they confined, like butterflies on the web of a spider. 

Winwin hummed an old lullaby as Jisung rested on him. The younger seemed to fall back asleep. His expression was cute and Winwin would have cooed at him if the door didn’t open. Winwin looked at and saw Doyoung and Jungwoo standing there. Winwin frowned and hurried the boys awake, ready to spread the next few hours anxious and alone.

  


“Winwin, Taeyong gave us orders to let you go with the boys,” Doyoung said and Winwin perked up at the news. 

“Really?” Doyoung nodded. 

“Take this as a gift and don’t do anything to mess up this chance,” Doyoung said, Winwin cringed but agreed. He knew there had to be a reason Taeyong would let him, but it was a mystery to him. He knew Taeyong wouldn’t have any advantage by letting him out, unless..

He did?

  


Winwin hadn’t been able to stretch out his legs in a long time. Walking out the room felt weird, but at least he could be with his boys. Winwin noticed they were heading to the training room and sighed. He knew how much work these boys would have to do in preparation to become involuntary NCT members. He prayed that everything would go well. 

Winwin sat by a wall and watched as the boys practiced. He knew that they could handle themselves. He knew it, but that didn’t soothe the occasional heart pounding he faced. It seemed to be going well though. 

Winwin smiled as the boys talked to the members of NCT. Jeno was beating Jaehyun in an arm wrestle contest while, Jaemin and Jungwoo made small talk. Chenle and Jisung talked to Doyoung while they stretched and Haechan simply listened as Taeil talked about what exercises they had to do that day.

Everyone seemed friendly with each other. It was a miracle, at least to Winwin it was.

  


Alternatively, Winwin sat tight-lipped until a familiar figure sat beside him, making him curse in his mind.

“Hey, how’ve you been?”

Winwin shrugged, “Fine, how’ve you been Ten?”

“Good…”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, “Kun w-”

“Don’t,” Winwin snapped, making Ten flinch. 

“Sorry… I miss you… I ho-”

“Stop it!” Winwin growled, “Leave me alone, Ten, we haven't even talked a proper conversation in a year, why now? Why after everything? I’ve forgiven you if that's what you want to hear,”

  


Ten’s mouth was agape and Winwin didn’t care. He stood up and traveled to another wall in the room, ignoring when Ten called his name. He sat down and pressed his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. Winwin could feel his eyes burn.

  


“Isn’t it lovely?” Ten said, looking out the garden. 

“Yeah, it is…” Winwin said, holding Ten’s hand as they sat beside each other. 

“One day, we’ll escape together, from everything that’s ever hurt us,”

“That sounds amazing, Ten,”

  


Winwin heart tore when he saw Johnny and Ten kiss in a heat of passion. They were oblivious to the eyes watching them as they shucked off their clothes. Winwin felt the tears on his face scorch his skin before he turned and left, ready to down a bottle of soju by himself. It was fine… 

He was fine…

  


“Winwin?” The chinese male snapped his head up to lock eyes with Renjun. 

“How’s training?” Winwin asked

“We’ve finished, we’re going to eat now,” Winwin stood up and forced a smile. Renjun held Winwin's hand, squeezing it. 

The older felt relief in his chest.

  


He had promised two people to run away together, but at least one of them had kept their promise. Renjun pulled Winwin out the room to follow the others to the dining hall. Winwin ignored the eyes that seemed to follow him, figuring they belonged to Ten. Winwin talked to his boys, checking on them all. They all were sweating. Jaemin and Jisung seemed to be the most exhausted, while Jeno seemed to be in the best shape. 

When they made it to the dining room, they all sat down on one side while Winwin sat across from Renjun. They waited for the food to finish. The boys talked amongst themselves, but Winwin could only think back to Ten.

  


“I love you, but I want more,”

“More? I would have understood before I caught you sleeping with him,”

“I’m sorry,”

“No, no you’re not,”

Winwin felt the itch for something good, something to numb the pain. It was after the fight that he had gone back to his old and disgusting ways. Winwin slept with the first man who gave him money and drugs that night. He hadn’t done that in years. He had wanted to be better for Ten. 

“You’re too high matinence, I’m walking on eggshells with you…”

“Did you tell me that? No you didn’t! You chose to sleep with someone else instead. Stop making excuses for yourself.”

“I’m sorry, I lov-”

“Don’t say that when you don’t mean it, you never cared, did you?”

When Winwin woke up from the night of sex and drugs, he rushed himself out of the house of that rich, old male. He looked at the money he received, it called him a “whore”. He was a whore. Winwin cried when he made it back to his apartment and packed his things. He wouldn’t be able to stay with Ten anymore. He packed everything and when he moved to leave, Johnny and Ten were about to enter. 

“Winwin? What ar-”

“Leaving. You can let Johnny move in with you now. You don’t have to worry about me hearing you two fuck anymore,” Winwin spat, pushing past Ten and Johnny. 

“Winwin! Don’t do this!” Johnny called and Winwin let out a huff of air in disbelief. 

Winwin turned around and flipped them off. 

“Fuck you, you both betrayed my trust. I thought you were a good person, Johnny, but you chose to do this with someone that you knew was taken. Someone who was dating a friend! You both can fuck off and out of my life because I thought I could trust both of you!”

They stayed silent. 

“How long has this been going on? You try to make me the bad guy but you’re the asshole that cheated. Don’t talk to mean, even if we are in the same gang,”

Winwin left without a care from the two people that betrayed him. His heart may have shattered, but it didn’t matter then or now. Three month later, his boys would come and he would make sure he was okay for them. He had boys to take care of. He didn’t need to worry about a shitty ex and shitty friend.

  


Winwin snapped out of his recollection when a Lucas placed a plate in front of him. Winwin forced a smile in Lucas' direction, making the other return a smile. He picked up his chopsticks and enjoyed the food and side dishes in front of him. He smiled when he saw how the boys were digging in to their plates. He felt sorry for them… 

They didn’t deserve this… 

Winwin sighed, focusing back on his meal. He was hungry. 

It had been around ten minutes later when Taeyong entered the room. Winwin tensed up at his presence. Taeyong walked past the side Winwin sat, He could feel the smirk Taeyong must have had on his face. He hovered behind Winwin for a few moments before taking his seat. Jungwoo placed a plate in front of Taeyong before hurrying away. Winwin was sick of this. Sick of the fear everyone had, including himself.

  


“Hello, How did the training go?” Taeyong asked. 

“Well, The training went fine. Th-” Doyoung started before raised his hand to stop Doyoung. 

“Did I ask you? I’m asking our newest members,” Taeyong moved his hand to gesture to the boys, they tensed.

“It was fine,” Jeno grumbled, slurping noodles into his mouth. The others let out murmurs of agreement.

  


“Hm… How’s it feel to be free, Winwin?” The chinese male tensed before locking eyes with the leader. 

What was he supposed to say to that?

“Great, thank you,” Winwin forced out, looking away from the redhead.

Taeyong cleared his throat. “I’ve decided something on a whim, Jisung…” The boy jumped up, looking at Taeyong in fear. “Will be under my wing during the training phase,” 

  


Winwin choked on his noodles, as the room froze in shock. 

There was silence for a few moments before Jeno spoke.

“Excuse me, quick question, What the fuck!?” 

“Yeah, what do you mean your wing? Because I doubt he would want to do that,” Jaemin asked.

  


Jisung froze, he had turned into a sculpture. The expression on his face said it all. His eyes widened and his mouth hung down in shock. He had no idea about what to do. How could he get out of this? 

Haechan rubbed Jisung's back to comfort him, the boy looked like he was three seconds away from vomiting.

  


“I see potential in him, so he will trained even harder,” Taeyong continued.

  


Winwin was sick of seeing that fearful face on Jisung. Winwin was sick of being tied to something that had lost its meaning years ago. Winwin was sick of the word "potential".

“Is this all that he is to you? Potential?” Winwin growled, “You know nothing about him! About anyone you’ve decided to force here. You don’t know their birthdays, favorite shows, what they like to do, or what their dreams are. You are treating them like pawns to make a gang greater when we both know you don’t give a shit about NCT!” 

“Winwin!” Kun yelled, entering the dining room in a rage. “Apologize right now!”

“Of course you come at the right time to defend him! I don’t care if I get locked up again! He's changed from the Taeyong we met and now he’s a monster! I don’t know who he is anymore! What happened to him? What happened to the times we weren’t scared of him or fearing for our lives?” Wiwin ranted, Kun's frown deepened. 

“I’m done! I’m sick of seeing what Taeyong has become! He’s not even Taeyong anymore,” Winwin yelled, “I’m going back to the room,” 

Winwin hurried out the room, bumping his shoulder against Kun’s. The boys hurried up and rushed out of the room to follow him. Jisung looked back at Taeyong for a second before hurrying up to catch up to the others. Immediately, Doyoung followed them in a hurry with Lucas by his side. Kun looked back to Taeyong to see the man silent, looking down at the table.

  


“Taeyong?”

Kun flinched when Taeyong threw the plate in front of him off the table. The plate shattered and the food in it had spilled all over. Jungwoo hurried to clean it as Taeyong stormed out. Kun wiped his face with his palms, groaning. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…” Kun repeated under his breath. He felt himself panic. Yangyang tried to talk to him but he hurried out as well. He needed to talk to Taeyong, to fix this. 

Hopefully, he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp i hope that chapter was good, I feel like some stuff came out of nowhere but i hope that you could still enjoy the story i'm trying to tell. I've planned all the chapters so it seems like we'll have around 30 chapters give or take. we're 1/3 the way there. Thanks for being patient and going on this journey with me! I'm trying to improve my writing and actually finish stories to prep for writing original novels in the future. 
> 
> Thank you, 
> 
> Larynx_Blues


	11. Don't Forcefully Hold It In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time! Sorry for not updating! I had no inspiration. Now I do so expect more updates more often! Sorry for dumping another intense chapter on you but I'm an evil author lol.

Kun followed Taeyong who seemed to charge for Winwin. He was scared. What if Taeyong killed Winwin or hurt him? He couldn’t let it happen. Kun gulped and gripped Taeyong’s arm, the male yanked away from him with a scowl on his face. 

“Kun? What are you doing?” Taeyong shouted and Kun managed to hold his ground. 

“If you hurt Winwin, the boys won’t join us, just go to your office,”

“Fuck off Kun, you better start disciplining him, or the rest of your men will suffer,” Taeyong threatened. He pushed past him and headed in the opposite direction of Winwin and the boys’ room. Kun sighed in relief, at least that crisis was averted…

  


He still needed to calm Taeyoung down though... 

He gulped and walked to join Taeyong in his office. Was this a mistake? Yes. Would he go anyway? Yes. 

Kun entered the office and saw Taeyong at his desk, glaring at him when he entered. Kun felt his body tense, but he kept his composure. Taeyong gestured to the chair in front of him, and Kun gulped, moving to sit in the chair. The room was silent for a few moments, and Kun felt his nerves grow.

  


“Do you agree with him?” Taeyong asked. Kun blinked in disbelief. 

“Excuse me?”

“Do you agree with what Winwin said?” Taeyong repeated as he stared into Kun’s eyes. 

“I…” Kun started, “No, I don’t,”

“You’re lying,” Taeyong said, standing from his seat with fire in his eyes. Kun gulped and cursed in his head, of course Taeyong would know. They’ve known each other for a long time…

“Tell me the truth, Kun,”

“You have changed,” Kun blurted before stopping himself, “When you took over the gang, everything changed,”

  


Taeyong remained silent, instead, he walked towards the window and opening the curtains. He stared outside with no expression on his face. He was thinking. That scared Kun. Should he plead for his life? For Winwin’s life?

Taeyong turned around, “Of course I’ve changed, it’s needed for this line of work. I couldn’t remain that same naive child,”

“I know,” Kun spoke, his eyes locked on to his lap, Taeyong frowned. 

“There it is again, you used to look into my eyes but now you don't even try. You lie to make me happy…” Taeyong looked away, “Do I really scare you that much? We’re childhood friends for fuck's sake,”

“You’re not the same Taeyong, though.” Kun shook under his gaze, “The old Taeyong would help the lower members of the gang, he would take criticism, he would care. You’re not that boy who gave me cotton candy at the fair, you’re a tough leader now,”

“I can’t be that Taeyong, the criminal world would make me a laughing stock,”

“You rather be someone who kidnaps kids?” Kun muttered, making Taeyong’s eyebrows furrow. 

“Shut up and do your job properly, you’re too soft of a leader and that’s why Winwin does the shit he does,”

“I can’t punish Winwin like you want me to,”

“Why’s that?”

“He has trauma, Taeyong. I can-”

“Then I’ll do it,” Taeyong interrupted.

“Taeyong, you don’t mean that, right?” Kun asked, looking up from his lap in disbelief. 

“You think anyone spared me? My father’s men beat me until I could defend myself. This isn’t a club! This is a real gang! Now call for him!”

“Taeyong think about this, if anything happens to Winwin, the boys will rebel,”

“You want me to spare him when he embarrassed me? In front of those boys? This is the last straw! I’m sick of pretending to be nice! If he wants to embarrass me, then I’ll show him my true colors,”

“He’s been through too much, you’re being crueler than normal!”

“I need to make an example so either you call him here or you’ll take the punishment instead of him,”

“I…”

  


Kun thought about it. He remembered how he struck Winwin that day. He remembered when Winwin told him his inner trauma. He remembered that he’s been yelling at Winwin for protecting people he loved. How he tried to save kids from a cold, dark life in NCT. Kun decided he would take the punishment, trying to make it up to Winwin.

  


“I’ll do it,” 

Taeyong scowled, “Trying to be a hero? Well, let’s show it publically then!”

Kun felt his heart drop. He kept his composure as he walked back into the dining room. Taeyong walked past him and sat in his chair. He had made some calls before they came to the dining room. Kun managed to block out the calls and tried to collect his mind instead. 

In a few minutes, everyone filed in. Winwin and the boys were brought in by gunpoint, they stared at Taeyong in both curiosity and fear. Taeyong locked eyes with Jisung who looked away. Soon, the captives were seated down at the table. Taeyong waved Kun over and he stood beside him.

  


“Winwin?”

The Chinese male stayed silent, glaring at the leader. 

“Kun has been so nice to take your punishment from you,”

“What?” Winwin looked at him with wide eyes.

“He’s taking what I planned to give you,”

“Taeyong, you can’t be serious! Kun-” Hendery yelled but Kun raised his hand to quiet the younger male. 

“This is so fucked up,” Jeno said.

“I hope you’ll enjoy the heroism he’s going to display,” Taeyong said, “Kun, you know what to do,”

  


Kun gulped and removed his suit jacket, then his shirt. He felt ashamed that his torso was exposed, especially in front of those boys. Taeyong grabbed a whip from Jungwoo and examined it in his hand.

“Ten whips,” Taeyong said and Kun nodded.

“Kun, you don’t have to do this!” Winwin yelled and Kun shook his head.

“I’m fine, I can handle it,”

  


Chenle stared at the scene in shock. It reminded him of what he had to go through. He wanted to close his eyes but he was a deer in the headlights. He couldn’t move. Kun stood there shirtless and holding on to the table with his hands. He was slightly hunched so Taeyong could hit his back. 

The first crack of the whip made Chenle stiffen. He could feel traces of the sensation on his back as if it were happening to him. As if it were happening to him again. 

The second crack made him revert into his mind. He started blacking out the noise like he had done when his parents had… no, he didn’t want to remember. 

The third crack brought him back as Kun grunted in pain. It was louder than the others. Haechan tried to touch him but he flinched away from him.

The fourth made him start crying.

  


“Taeyong! Stop it! You’re making Chenle have a panic attack!” Jisung screamed, Taeyong looked at him coldly. 

“Maybe... if Winwin begged, I’d stop,”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jeno yelled, “Stop!” 

“Why should I? Someone needs to be punished!”

The fifth made him flinch, he could feel the scars on his back burn. He could feel the fear push the bile up his throat. It rested there for a few more minutes as he tried to hold it down.

“Taeyong, please stop!” Winwin begged. 

“I need more than that,”

  


The sixth crack made the bile rise. He stood up and rushed away from the table, throwing up on the floor. Chenle stared at the mess on the floor in disbelief. Did that come from him? He couldn’t even feel the vomit when it came out of his mouth. He could only feel the burns on his back reminding of his parent’s deeds, of his trauma. He felt hands grab him, he looked to see who it was. It was Jaemin.

“I can’t…” He heard himself say, can’t what? He pushed through Jaemin and the guards, attempting to leave the room. “No, I can’t see this anymore!”

“You’re a fucking monster!” Jisung yelled and Taeyong paused. 

“No, when you’re a leader, you need to do things like this. You’ll understand when I train you." Taeyong said, "Why do you think I want to train you personally? To be my heir!”

“I’ll never be your heir!” Jisung spat, “I don’t want to rule this gang!”

“Then twenty more lashings for Kun since you’ve put me in a bad mood,” Taeyong said.

“That’s insane!” Renjun yelled, “You can’t do that!”

“Trust me, I will, who will stop me?”

  


The seventh crack of the whip made the bile raise up within Chenle again. He turned his head and saw Kun’s arms weaken and he fell on to the table. 

“I’m fine,” Kun said but it was obvious he was not. 

“Taeyong, you’ve never done this before! Why now?” Winwin yelled and Taeyong scoffed.

“Never done this before? Clearly you’ve been with WayV for far too long. Jungwoo and Yuta can definitely show you their scars,”

“What?” Winwin stared in disbelief, when did Taeyong become a tyrant? When did he become his father?

“I’m sick of being nice, I’m sick of being empathetic to some street rats. If you disrespect me, this is where you’ll end up. Kun will be the example and so will anyone else that wants to embarrass me. You’re lucky Winwin, I’ve been wanting to beat you for a long time,”

  


Winwin felt his blood run cold. 

“No! No! I don’t wanna be whipped again, let me out!” Chenle begged but Johnny held him back. 

“So, Jisung, twenty more whips for Kun, or will you become my heir. I’d be willing to promise not to whip any of your friends, especially that screaming one over there,”

“What… are you threatening me?” Jisung asked and Taeyong smirked. 

“You’re a smart boy, I can’t guarantee their safety unless you agree to my condition, so I guess it is a threat,”

“Jisung, don’t,” Renjun said but the youngest had already made up his mind. 

“Okay, if you don’t hurt them, I’ll be your heir,”

“Fantastic, I’m in such a good mood that I’ll stop whipping Kun.” Taeyong dropped the whip to the ground, Kun was against the table catching his breath. The wounds on his back were deep. 

“I’ll return to my office now, I’ll expect this all to be cleaned up and Kun?”

The Chinese male looked at the leader. 

“We’re a gang, we’re not good people, so don’t be a hero,” Taeyong spat before locking eyes with Jisung, “Your training starts tomorrow, I’m glad you agreed,”

  


Taeyong walked to the entrance of the room, gesturing for Mark to join him, before leaving. Mark looked at Haechan before turning away and joining the leader. 

Everyone was silent until Kun struggled to stand up.

  


Jungwoo rushed to Kun’s side and examined his wounds. 

“Taeil, help me with Kun’s injuries,” Jungwoo said and Taeil rushed over. 

“We need to move him though, treating his injuries here isn’t the best idea,”

Johnny and Yuta walked over to help. Kun tried to deny the help, but Jungwoo shushed him. Kun went on Johnny’s back while Yuta ensured he wouldn’t back. Jungwoo and Taeil followed them out of the room.

  


The room was silent once again. The only noise came from Chenle. He let out little sniffles as Jisung held him to his chest. He tried to ignore the flashes of memory that entered his mind.

  


“You embarrassed us at that party! You should know better than that!”

“I’m sorry but I tripped, I didn’t mean hit the wine bottle!”

“So you’re talking back, huh? Ten lashings for the accident and five for talking back. You can expect a fingernail gone too,”

  


Chenle was brought back to reality when Jisung shook him. He looked up into his eyes and started to cry. Jisung would be like Taeyong, he didn’t want that. He wanted Jisung to stay like himself, not like that evil man. He grasped onto Jisung’s arms with such strength, it scared the younger.

“Please… don’t be like him. Don’t let him change you,” Chenle said in a hurried whisper. 

“I won’t, I promise,” Jisung said, “I know he reminded you of them. You need to talk about it, you've only let it out once and you didn’t even tell us everything,”

“I can’t, I can’t, not right now, just keep your promise and I’ll be fine,”

“Chenle, please, stop holding it in,”

“I’m not, just… hold me,”

  


“I’m sorry you had to see that,” Doyoung suddenly said to the boys, “Let me take you back, please,”

Chenle held on to Jisung as if his life depended on it. They walked into the room and Winwin slumped against a wall. He looked conflicted and torn. 

“I didn’t he cared about me that much, I can’t believe he went through that for me,”

“Winwin?” Renjun called, but the man started crying. 

“It’s my fault,” Chenle heard Winwin say in Chinese. “I shouldn’t have, I didn’t think-”

Renjun went to calm the man while Jeno held Haechan in his lap. Jaemin comforted the two while Haechan remained silent, staring forward. He wasn’t looking at anything, he was in shock.

  


Chenle was too.

  


Jisung continued to hold him. They sat on the floor while Chenle continued to let out a few more tears. 

“Don’t hold it in, you can let out your tears,” 

“I know,”

“I will never be like him,”

“I know,”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I know the boy I love,”

“I love you, Chenle,”

“Love you too, Jisung,”

  


He would never let Jisung turn into Taeyong, he would make sure of it.


	12. 119

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did someone ask for a Jaemin centric chapter? No? I made it anyway. Figured it was time for another backstory to be shown and I had a lot of inspiration for it! The next chapters are plot-heavy until more backstories shown. I just wanted to make a filler and backstory chapter! Enjoy. 
> 
> Triggers:  
Sexual assault  
Bullying  
Graphic  
Death by Suicide
> 
> (You have been warned)
> 
> Backstory checklist:  
Jisung: done  
Chenle: none  
Renjun: hinted  
Jaemin: done  
Jeno: halfway done  
Haechan: none
> 
> Relationship Backgrounds:  
Nomin: Done  
Norenmin: No  
Chenji: No  
Markhyuck: No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hagwon - Korean afterschool cram school. Used to study certain topics more like math or learn instruments, etc. 
> 
> Jangmi - means rose in Korean

Jaemin woke up first, sitting up from his previous position of cuddling Renjun. He looked at Haechan and Jeno with a fond smile. Jeno laid on his back while Haechan rested on his left side and Renjun rested on his right. He could tell something was happening between the two, he wondered if it would turn romantic. Jaemin stood up and stretched out his legs and looked over again. His family… 

The only family he ever had. 

He frowned a little, turning away to look at the entrance of the room. Jaemin knew that freedom looked so close, but in reality, it was so far. He sighed and turned to see Jisung wake up, sitting up and moving away from Chenle. Jisung smiled at Jaemin in the dim light of the room from the ceiling lights.

  


“Jisungie, come here,” Jaemin said and the youngest walked over, stuffing his head into the older’s neck. 

“Jaemin?”

“Yes?” Jaemin pet Jisung’s hair as they hugged. 

“Do you regret coming with us sometimes? You used to say you missed home and you had a stable life, now you’re here...” Jisung asked and Jaemin pulled away looking at the boy with a sad smile. 

“Just because my life was stable, doesn't mean it was good. I only miss it because it where we all met, it was where my grandmother is,” Jaemin answered, “Come on, sit with me,” 

Jisung sat against the wall with Jaemin, their hands interlocked. He could see the frown on Jisung's face.

"What's wrong?" Jaemin asked. 

"I don't want to be his heir," Jisung said, "I hate him..."

“Kindness is needed in these situations, Jisung. It’s easy to feel hatred when you’re in a bad situation,” Jaemin said, “Sometimes being kind is stronger than being spiteful and angry,”

“But they took us? Why should we pretend to be nice if they’re hurting us?”

“Hate doesn't help hate Jisung, if we want to get out of our situation, they need to trust us. If we can manipulate him and gain his trust, we can get home sooner and find a way to run away,”

“You're right I guess,” Jisung said, “You're smart Jaemin,”

“I’m not Jisung,”

“It's true, you are…” Jisung said, resting his head on Jaemin’s shoulder.

  


Jaemin began to space out and reminisce about his life. 

His life was stable but rather lonely. 

Jaemin was born to a couple like Jisung’s, but they weren’t abusive, just neglectful. His parents wanted adventure and to travel, having a kid got in the way. They went on cruises and traveled the world while Jaemin’s grandmother took care of him. He never knew his parents much growing up. They always seemed to leave days after they came back from their long trips. 

Instead, he focused on being popular. He could get some of the love he needed through friends and support, at least that's what he thought. It didn’t work. He still felt hollow, like his life was missing something. Even if he got the best scores in his class and studied hard, it didn't make him feel proud. Even if he could manipulate people into being his friend and caring for him with fake kindness, that didn't fix any of his problems. Even if half the school wanted to be him and the other half wanted to be with him, it didn't make him feel whole. 

He was empty. 

He rejected anyone who asked him out, whether boy or girl, teen or… adult. He remembered the first time an adult tried to pursue him. It was when his teacher caressed his thigh at fourteen, he moved his leg away as gently as he could. He told her that he would come back for her when he was eighteen and out of high school. He lied. He would never be with a disgusting predator. Touching a minor like that was disgusting, trying to groom a minor was disgusting. He wanted to spit in her face, but like always, he didn't let his anger out. He stayed his charming self even in the face of the perverseness of human trash. 

That was the moment he realized what his looks could do.

That his manipulation and his looks could seduce many people into his bidding.

  


Jaemin became known as the “Kind Heartbreaker”. He was honest and never led anyone on, which made people want him more. He was unattainable, the “perfect”. People tried anything. He was given gifts, chocolates, and even offers to do his work which he always refused. 

However, he remembered one person he rejected. It was a girl, Min Jangmi, he could never forget her name. He rejected her as he did to everyone else, but she was different. She told her friends that Jaemin had insulted her and called her a fat pig and the word spread around by accident. No one believed her and they ostracized her, calling her liar and used the fake insult on her. People forgot her name and she became known as the “lying pig,”. Soon, her desk became scrawled with disgusting words. Jaemin had seen them when he walked past her class during lunch. “Kill yourself”, “Gut yourself, pig,” and even, “You thought he would like a fatty like you? Fuck off you liar!”

Jaemin felt bad for her and tried to get the others to stop. 

“Even if she lied, she doesn’t deserve to be bullied like this!” Jaemin pleaded.

They praised him for his kindness like always and the words lessened slowly. He didn't understand them, why was he like a god to them?

He went to her one day.

  


“Are they stopping?” Jaemin asked and she nodded. 

“They are, I’m sorry for lying,” She said and Jaemin smiled. “I didn't even mean for it to spread…”

“Thank you, I’ll try to keep them from continuing, you don't deserve it. You were hurt and said things you didn't mean,” Jaemin said and she teared up, wiping her eyes. 

“Thank you so much, you’re too kind, you didn't have to,” Jangmi said and Jaemin shook his head. 

“Don't thank me, it’s the right thing to do, let me know if they won't stop,”

  


She looked happier, hopeful. Her eyes were brighter even though her bangs almost covered her eyes. Jangmi waved before walking in confident strides. Jaemin smiled at the sight, he was glad she was getting better. 

Jaemin walked home that day as per usual. It was ten o'clock, he attended hagwons so he always went home late. On the way home, he noticed the playground he used to visit when he was younger. He smiled before walking over, sitting on a swing. He moved up and down, staring up at the sky with a somber feeling. He wished he was young again, oblivious to the things that hurt him. He sighed and moved to leave when he jumped at the sound of footsteps.

He turned and saw a boy around his age in the park as well. Jaemin stared at the boy in curiosity, he didn't wear his uniform, instead he wore a white shirt and jeans. He was quite fit. Jaemin cheeks heated at the thought before turning around, continuing to swing.

Jaemin had already accepted his feelings for the same sex long ago, but he was still shy about it. He also didn't feel attracted to people often, so this was off-putting. 

He glanced over and noticed the boy was heading toward the swings. Jaemin gulped and kept his gaze forward, swinging more. He saw the boy sitting in the swing next to him in the corner of his eyes. He stayed silent though and focused forward.

  


“Never seen you here before, what are you doing here?” The boy next to him asked and Jaemin looked over. 

“Oh… I just wanted to swing. I used to come here a lot when I was a kid, haven't in a few years though,”

“Nice.” The boy started swinging too. The silence continued as the boys didn't speak, the only sound was the creaks of the swing. He didn't know why, but Jaemin wanted to get to know the boy more. He looked over and took in the stranger’s face. He was so handsome...

“What’s your name?” Jaemin asked, feeling brave. 

“Lee Jeno, what’s yours?”

“Na Jaemin,” 

“You’re pretty cute, Na Jaemin,”

Jaemin blushed and looked down at lap, both his hands on the chains of the swing. 

“You’re handsome, Lee Jeno,”

  


The door to the room opened and Jaemin woke up Jisung before waking the others. It was breakfast and then it was time to train. He sighed and walked to the dining room, sitting in his usual seat. Jeno sat by him, smiling and kissing him on the cheek. Jaemin smiled and thought back to how he fell in love with the other again.

  


Jaemin started coming to the park regularly, meeting with Jeno. They became friends at first. Friends who flirted constantly, but still friends nonetheless. It changed when Jaemin slid down a slide and Jeno was already at the bottom. When he slid down, he laid back on the slide, and Jeno smiled at him, making his heartbeat skyrocket. Jeno leaned over the slide and kissed him on the lips and for the first time, his chest felt full. 

Don't get him wrong, he still had issues, love didn't fix that. However, he felt like he was equal to someone, someone who didn't worship his every move and action. He was someone who was given love without any intention, it was only based on feelings and not wanting to own him. 

Jeno made it clear when they hung out that he didn't want Jaemin due to his looks. He cared about thoughts he never told others before. He didn't treat him like a perfect person. Jaemin felt understood for the first time and he was happy. 

He remembered the nights where they spilled secrets to each other. He remembered the feeling of helplessness when Jeno described the situation with his father. He wanted to help his boyfriend but he couldn't. He remembered how he would keep first aid in his backpack, just in case he needed to tend to Jeno’s wounds. 

Then… Jangmi came into the picture again. He walked to the park and met up with Jeno, who smiled and spun him around. They kissed and he heard a soft gasp. Jaemin pulled away and looked at the direction of the noise in fear. 

Jangmi stood there with a shocked expression. She ran off before Jaemin could even say anything to her, he felt dread fill his heart. She would tell everybody, but they wouldn't believe and they would bully her again. Jaemin frowned but he realized he shouldn’t be ashamed. He loved Jeno even if people couldn't accept it and he would come out if she did do it.

  


The next day… He approached Jangmi when she was by herself. She smiled at him and put a finger to her lips with a wink.

“Your secret is safe with me, don't worry, I won't do anything to hurt you again,” Jangmi said, and Jaemin smiled. He thanked her and walked away. Unknown to him, even if she didn't spread the rumor, she was still getting bullied by jealous people. She didn't tell him, taking her punishment for spreading lies. 

In a flash, Jaemin’s life seemed to soar while her’s plummeted. Jaemin met Haechan and Jisung over the next month. He was getting more friends who actually cared for him and not what he stood for or his reputation. Jisung came first and then it was Haechan. Jisung became his baby while Haechan became a close friend. His life was getting better and he couldn't be happier. 

However, his happiness faded into horror when...

  


Jaemin jumped when a plate of food was placed in front of him by Jungwoo. He smiled at the older man, getting a small smile in return. He grabbed his utensils but his appetite was ruined.

  


He remembered that he was at home, he didn't go to a hagwon that day. He got followed by an account on Instagram. @Protect.Na.Jaem. He was confused and tapped on the account, realizing it was private. He followed and was instantly given access. He stared at the videos on the account in confusion before he realized who was in some of the thumbnails… 

Jangmi. 

Jaemin sat up in his bed and tapped on the oldest video. It was of Jangmi walking home unaware of the person behind her, the caption read “piggy”. He went to the next video and saw Jangmin on the floor holding her head while students surrounded her. She was crying while they called her names. 

The next was them cutting her long hair and bangs. He couldn't see anyone’s face except hers. She was crying and begging them to stop. Almost all her hair was gone by the end of the video. The next video showed a girl cutting Jangmi’s uniform, exposing her body. She tried to cover herself, but the scissors cut her hands. Her skirt was cut off, and her blazer and dress shirt was shredded. 

The next video showed a girl calling her a male over. Jaemin looked in horror as Jangmi was dragged into an alleyway by three boys. She was screaming and begging them to let go of her. One of her shoes slipped off, remaining as she was being pulled away. The camera pointed to the floor. All he saw were the edges of the skirts and shoes of four girls, including the camerawoman. 

“Should we record them? I bet she’ll like the attention she gets since she’s such an attention whore,” A girl’s voice said. Jaemin could hear Jangmi's screams in the background. They were of pure terror. Jaemin felt his stomach churn in disgust, he could feel the bile rise his throat. 

“No, I’d throw up if I had to see them do that to her,”

“Same,”

“Get off! Stop!” Jangmi screamed in the background.

“Shut up!” A male yelled, he heard a slap before the video ended. 

He looked at the last video with hesitance. He tapped on it. Maybe they let her go? Was she okay? He needed to find out. Jaemin tapped on the video. It was an up-close of her face, her nose was broken and bruises covered her face. Her left eye was swollen and as the camera moved back, it revealed her naked and brutalized body. She had cuts and bruises everywhere. The word “attention seeker” was written in marker on her thigh with other terms like "pig" in random spots. Jaemin noticed used condo-

Jaemin threw his phone away in disgust. They… He shook and ran his hand through in his hair. Jaemin rushed to the bathroom and vomited his dinner. He stood and rushed to his closet. He was in his sleepwear but he didn't care. He tossed on a hoodie, not bothering to change out of his checkered pajama bottoms. Jaemin grabbed his phone and checked the time the last video was posted. 

An hour ago. 

Was she still there?

Jaemin ran out of the house, slipping on the sneakers by the door. He sprinted around the town. He tried to decipher the disgusting videos to find her location. He started at the street by the playground, most hagwons were around that area. He rushed to the playground and looked around the nearby streets. He stopped in front of an alleyway two streets away. He saw a shoe, he recognized it from the video. It was Jangmi's... 

He dashed in and saw a body laying on the floor. He rushed to her. Jangmi looked unconscious, he almost threw up at the sight of her abused body. He called “119” and described the street he was on. Jaemin waited by her when her eyes opened. She tried to move away out of fear until she realized who it was.

“Jaemin?”

“Yes, it’s me Jangmi, I’m so sorry,”

“It’s okay, you didn't know,” Jangmi croaked, tears coming out her eyes, “How’d you find me?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Jaemin answered and Jangmin let out more tears.

  


“Jaemin?” A voice called and he looked up. Renjun looked at him in confusion and worry, Jaemin felt something wet come down his cheeks. He wiped his cheeks and forced a smile. 

“I’m sorry, it’s nothing to worry about,”

“Time to train!” Jaehyun announced and the boys exited the room.

Jaemin looked down at the ground when Winwin tapped on his shoulder. 

"Are you okay? You didn't eat,"

"Yeah, I just... wasn't hungry,"

  


The ambulance came and she was taken away. The police managed to arrest the boys due to DNA evidence, but the girls weren’t found. They got away with it by deleting the account the next day. 

The police didn't investigate further because of Jangmi's refusal. Jangmi refused to testify or name any of the girls, only the boys. He asked Jangmi why but she never told him, Jaemin thinks it was because they were her "friends". He was sure of it but he never got a direct answer. 

He visited Jangmi every day during her stay in the hospital. She looked hollowed out and empty but she still smiled when he came around. He never saw her parents there. She told him that they didn't care about her, Jaemin told her his parents were the same way. She smiled sadly and held his hand when she was the one who needed comfort. 

“I wish I never lied,” She would say, “I loved you and I didn't know how to accept rejection. I was being bullied before but after what I did, it got so much worse,”

“You don't deserve this even though you lied,” He would say and she would smile. 

“You’re too kind, Na Jaemin,”

  


Jaemin walked into the training room. They all started working out before they were trained by the members. He looked at Chenle’s faded red hair, reminding him off a rose.

  


Jangmi… 

Jaemin remembered the last time he saw her. She asked for a kiss on the forehead and he agreed, kissing her there. She giggled and blushed. 

“Thank you, Jaemin, I feel so greedy,”

“Don't feel that way,” Jaemin said, “I don't mind,”

He didn't. He didn't love her but he loved her as a friend, so he was willing to give her affection. She gave him an envelope, a letter inside thanking him she said. He smiled and put it in his backpack. 

“Read it when you get home,” She said, “I’ll see you at school soon, they’re letting me out today!”

“Alright I will,” He said, “See you tomorrow!”

He left and went home in a taxi. He took out his notebooks from his backpack, spotting the letter. He smiled and when he saw that Jangmi had drawn roses all over the envelope. He opened it and started to read the letter.

  


“Dear, Jaemin

I love you so much. I know you’ll never love me, your heart belongs to Jeno and I’m so happy you found someone to make your eyes brighten. I think I fell for you because I saw your eyes when you were alone. When people left, your face turned stoic and your eyes stopped shining. I thought you were just like me, and you are, but that doesn’t mean we had to love each other. I wish I would have let you love me as a friend first, I would have been happy enough with that. None of this would have happened. But instead, I was angry, because I wanted you to see me the way I saw you. Damaged, broken… I wanted our love to fix each other but I realize that was foolish. Love can't fix everything, neither can friendship. I’m ashamed that I got angry and spread those things to my "friends", look where I ended up...

Honestly, I didn't say anything about you calling me a pig, I said I felt like you thought of me as one. My friends... they used my words against me and acted liked I was trying to lie but I guess I was trying to harm your reputation in a way. For that, I'm sorry. That's why I took the punishment they and the others gave me. I was trying to hurt you even if it was a few words said in a fit of anger. Even if I didn't intend to cause rumors, they still happened and I'm sorry. 

To be honest, my friends aren't really friends, more like bullies who let me hang around them. 

You see, I was bullied my whole life and my parents were never there. I was disliked even before I had a chance and you were liked before you had a chance. I think we’re opposites of the same coin, one happy side, and one sad side. 

I wish we had more time to get to know each other. 

I can't live any longer, Jaemin. I can't go back to school to see them. The girls are still there, probably ready to send men to rape me again. I can't go through anymore and I’m sorry for not being strong enough. Don't come back to the hospital, I’m jumping off there and I don't want you to see my body. It will be worse than how you found me that night.

Don't feel bad or like it's your fault though. You tried to stop them but they persisted, it’s not your fault though. They used you as an excuse to be cruel, regardless of how you felt. They disguised their thirst for hate as love for you. Sad, but I did the opposite so can I really say anything?

I’m weak, not meant for life. But, I realized something when you revealed your secrets to me. You found a way to survive but you still stayed kind even knowing your power. I admire you for that. 

I love you and I always will. Please live, not for me, but for the boys you told me about. I can tell you love them so much, I wonder if you loved me like how you loved them? Well, I’ll never get the answer. 

Goodbye, Na Jaemin. I hope we become friends in another life. I would be honored to be if given the chance. I would even be honored if I went to hell but could see you in heaven from down there. Just live and I’ll hope we’ll meet each other whatever way that may be.”

  


Jaemin felt the tears burn his eyes but he rushed back to the hospital in a taxi. He rushed out and tried to rush to enter the building but stopped when he saw people crowding around an area. He ran over and pushed through, seeing a body covered with a sheet. Jaemin fell to his knees and cried, he knew it was her. 

“She jumped?” He heard someone say and he cried more. 

“Are you okay?” Someone asked him and he shook his head. 

“Jangmi… I’m sorry I couldn't save you. I couldn't make you stay,” He thought as he stared at the covered body of his friend.

  


Jaemin slipped and rolled down the treadmill he was running on. The hard thud startled everyone in the room and they moved to help him up. Jaemin wiped the tears from his eyes and stood up as Jeno helped him. 

“Jaemin?” Jeno called, Jaemin shook his head. 

“Sorry, today is a bad day, don't know why I’m so clumsy…” Jaemin said.

“Are you su-”

“Yeah, let’s keep training,”

  


They continued and soon they fell to the ground in exhaustion. Jaemin took deep exhales and inhales, they were taking a break. After they had lunch, they would train some more. 

“Jisung? Taeyong called for you,” Johnny said, the youngest sighed and stood up. 

“Okay,” Jisung said, Jaemin watched as the youngest left with a frown on his face.

  


Hopefully, he would listen to his advice. If they wanted to get out of here, manipulation is needed. He would know, he was king of manipulation and continued to be when he seduced those people into their trap. If only they hadn't killed that man, maybe they would be home now… 

But life is full of choices and you can't take them back.

No matter how hard you wish you could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all their comeback was lit. I love the title track and sidetracks. Did you too? My favorite sidetrack is either puzzle piece or Quiet Down, but I think I like Ridin the most tbh!


	13. Fake and True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long, inspiration has been hard to come by and honestly... I haven't been the most stable minded :/ don't worry I'm fine and I'm planning out further chapter so I can make more more easily. 
> 
> Thank you for enjoying!
> 
> Sorry if this chapter isn't good. I'm genuinely trying to update but its hard :/ I'm getting passionate again though! I started drawing and writing again!

Jisung entered the office, while doing so, he saw both Mark and Taeyong. Taeyong sat at his desk while Mark stood beside him. Jisung felt the dread pile on. He knew he didn't like where this conversation was going to go. He sat at the chair across from Taeyong and waited for him to start. 

“Welcome back, Jisung,” Taeyong said and Jisung looked away. “You’ll need some better lessons if you’ll take over the gang one day. So I chose my other heir, Mark, to help you,”

“Other heir?” Jisung asked, confusion lacing his voice. 

“Yes, in this kind of field, having multiple back ups is never a bad thing,”

“So, if you die, he takes over?” 

“Exactly, and when he dies, you take over,” Taeyong explained, “I’ll trust you’ll find a heir of your own if I don't find another before then,”

“But why am I chosen to be an heir? I don't want to-”

“Being an heir is an honor, Jisung, it shows Taeyong sees your potential,” Mark interrupted. 

“Exactly,” Taeyong spoke, “You don't understand it yet, but I see myself in you and that’s why I want to train you, with the help of Mark as well,”

“Do I have to work with him though?” Jisung asked, uncomfortable working with Haechan’s ex-boyfriend. 

“Yes, he’ll help you with your training. I'm busy and can't afford to train you constantly,” Taeyong explained, “He needs to be a part of this. I’ll hope you two will get along well,”

“I’m sure we will,” Jisung mumbled, “Not like he left us to get shot by you, ”

“What?” Taeyong locked his eyes with him and Jisung tensed.

“It’s nothing,” Jisung spoke, crossing his arms. 

“Mark, I assume you will treat him well?” Taeyong asked and Mark nodded. “Good. Now if you excuse me, I need to grab a few things. Please don’t kill each other while I’m gone,”

  


Taeyong left the room, shutting the door behind him, and Jisung sighed. 

Now he was stuck with Mark Lee of all people…

  


“Are Haechan and Jeno dating?” Mark blurted and Jisung looked at him with disdain. 

“Can I get a “hello”? Maybe even a “how are you?” before you ask about him?”

Mark repeated himself, “Is Haechan dating Jeno?”

“Is it any of your business?” Jisung glared at Mark, “Even if they were, what does it matter? You fucked up the moment you tried to have us all killed while keeping him alive! You fucked up even before that!”

“You…” Mark growled, “Do you know how long I’ve searched for him?”

“No and I don't care because you’re an asshole.”

“I’m losing patience, just tell me if-”

“And so am I!” Jisung spat, “Who do you think you are?”

“Fine, I guess I’ll ask him myself,”

  


Jisung could almost see his vision turn red.

  


“Leave him alone! He left you, get over it!” Jisung growled and Mark clenched his fists. 

“You don't understand anything!”

“Well I understand more than you do!”

“Then why did he leave me?” Mark shouted, “Tell me!”

Jisung glared at him before moving his eyes away as he leaned back in his chair. 

“It’s not my place to say anything,” Jisung said, “And it’s not your place to ask,”

The room grew quiet. It stayed that way till Taeyong reentered, papers in hand. He sat down at his desk and stared at the two boys with a raised eyebrow.

  


“What happened?”

“Nothing,” They said at the same time, making Taeyong sigh. 

“Look, I’m not asking you to be best friends, but you need to get along to take over th-”

“What do you see in him?” Mark asked. Taeyong seemed unphased by the question but Jisung could see the fire in his eyes. 

It was a fire that scared him… 

“Just because you're my heir doesn't mean you should forget your place,” Taeyong sneered. 

Mark flinched and looked down at the floor. 

“I’m sorry,” 

“I’ll let you off with a warning this time,” Taeyong said, “But I’ll answer your question. I simply see it. I know he can be of use, I just see the potential,”

“I’m sorry for doubting you,” Mark said, bowing. 

“It’s alright, now you’ll train together starting tomorrow, any objections?”

“No,” Mark answered.

  


Taeyong’s eyes moved to Jisung, the younger boy flinched under such an intense gaze.

  


“And you?” Taeyong asked. 

“Nope. None at all,” Jisung shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he answered, wanting to escape the gaze on him. 

“Good. Mark take him back to their room,”

“Yes, sir,” Mark said, bowing before walking to the door, Jisung followed him. 

“Mark?”

“Yes?”

“If he tries to run, you know what to do,”

“Yes, sir,”

  


Jisung gulped, what was that supposed to mean?

They walked in silence. The air was tense and Jisung could see the frustration on Mark’s face. Jisung felt frustrated too. 

He was forced to be the heir of a gang he didn't care about and work with his friend’s shitty ex. He was stuck. All he wanted was to get out of here and everyday it seemed he became more intertwined with this gang. 

Jisung thought back to Jaemin’s advice again. Be kind. Pretend to be willing… 

It was hard to be willing in this situation, it was hard to accept his fate. He managed to agree to Taeyong’s demands but it felt wrong when he did. How did Jaemin do it so easily? He was a master at hiding his emotions and manipulating people into thinking he was innocent. 

Jisung sighed and knew he had to be complacent. He had to be so he could save his family, so he could gain Taeyong’s trust and free them. 

It hurt. Jisung was so close to freedom, they all were. They had saved so much money, but it was for nothing. They ended up taken by a gang and now they were being forcefully recruited. Jisung was going to be the heir of a gang… 

Everything seemed so unbelievable, like a bad dream he couldn't wake up from.

  


“We’re here,” Mark spoke and Jisung looked up. He nodded, about to enter the room when Mark stopped him. 

“Get mentally prepared for tomorrow. His special training is on a different level,” Mark said and Jisung looked at him with a confused gaze. 

“It’s that bad?”

Mark nodded, “Yeah, despite the fact I don't like you, I wish someone would have warned me,”

“Wha-” Jisung started to ask, but Mark closed the door.

  


Jisung stood there for a moment, processing the information Mark gave him. Was Mark trying to scare him or was he trying to help him? He wasn't sure. He turned around and saw no one else was there. He sighed and sat against a nearby wall. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. Jisung closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

“I’m so tired,”

Jisung moved to lay on the floor, staring up at the ceiling before closing his eyes again. 

“It’s still better than being with my parents,” Jisung thought bitterly.

He fell asleep…

  


Winwin couldn't deny his shock when they allowed to go with the others. He thought Taeyong would have ordered them to keep him in the room as punishment. 

Punishment... 

He thought back to Kun. He didn't see him at all and when he asked the others about him, they didn't say much. Winwin felt guilty. He had assumed Kun didn't care about him but that was far from the truth. Winwin shook his head and focused on his surroundings.

Winwin watched at the boys as they trained. He watched as Jaehyun taught them fighting tactics. He winced when the male tossed Jeno over his shoulder with ease. 

“You’re getting better, but you still have too many weak spots,” Jaehyun spoke, “I think we should stop for now,”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Jeno said, panting for air.

  


Winwin stood up from his spot and strolled over to the boys. Soon, they exited the training room and back into their room. Winwin looked over and saw Jisung sleeping on the floor. He smiled at the sight. 

“Jisung?” Chenle spoke, “H-”

“Don't wake him up, he looks so peaceful,” Winwin said and Chenle pouted but nodded. 

“You’re right,”

Winwin sat down on the floor and stared as the boys huddled together. Chenle laid beside Jisung, holding his hand. Jeno laid back, laying his arms out for Renjun and Jaemin to hug him on both sides. Haechan snuggled against Renjun’s back, wrapping his arm around his waist. 

Winwin laid back on the floor alone, closing his eyes. His back felt a bit sore from all the nights of sleeping on the floor but it didn't matter. He was here, he was protecting his boys. Well... he was trying to.

  


He fell asleep.

  


Then, he woke up to the sound of tapping on the door. Winwin sat up confused, there was no way it was morning already. He stretched out his sore back as he stood up to inspect the door. However, before he could get close, the door opened slowly and his eyes widened.

“Lucas?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 10,000+ views and 600 kudos+, I never thought I could get that much? When I checked my ao3 a week or two ago I was so shocked and thankful. Thank you for reading, even if you don't leave a comment or kudos, it means a lot to me because this is a passion I have but I feel like I can't make a career out of it, artistic careers are hard :/. 
> 
> Genuinely thank you and if you need someone to talk to fir advice or if you're lonely (like me lol) please dm my twitter, talk to me on curious cat, or through line or kakao in the links below.

**Author's Note:**

> I love NCT Dream's new album and I wanted to make a work inspired by the songs Boom, Stronger, and 119. So I hope you enjoyed this gang au. I plan on continuing it! It is multi chapter!
> 
> Contact info:  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/Larynx_Blues) (If you want to talk or see me tweet when I'm about to update/ other stuff)  
[Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/Larynx_Blues) (For questions about me or my stories!)  
Kakao: Dabbingkk02 (Talking)  
Line: dabbingkk02 (Talking again!)


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